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Im home. didnt have to be as i was at a 50th party. But i seemed to hog the mic and refused to sing. so came home all sneakily.. im only supposed to be at the loo !
im in a combination of the huff and sheer lust. Bruce the landlord ( my pal) appeared again tonight.he seems to be drinking in my local, since we had a great friday night oot ,last week. But i had said id go to a perty in the lounge. sitting there with folks i went to school with,and meeting bruce for a cigarette. He is playing Golf tomorrow. so up early. and he came to give me a kiss.. as in a friendly kiss and the EEJITS i went to school with all wolf whistled,and made a grand fuss of nothing. He was only out for an hour but stayed 4 hours with me. Im gonna see those eejits.. i mean they look after me etc and they are all married. but ffs..
I think they are secretly jealous the minute a real man appears for me./ratty and fooked off and home early. Dundee !
@*Dawny* wrote:
I got the rental van all ready Rubes
dawny is that gonna fit 2 prima donnas, a gooner and clive ! plus
the bobby sands look a like
then again anything is better than me,shazza and essers on a tandem ! and you were hand picked dawn as we KNEW you drive.. lets face it were not getting any younger and i need the back seat o a fiat to do my business in !
oh we was great !!
rubes and esme shocked by the news,that sharon gooner cant drive, when they employed her as getaway driver.
pffft thats an easy one.. we sinply find out when their making the new advert with Martin Kemp sitting on the sofa.. we send clive in first to flirt with kemp, and listen to him witter on about his time in Eastenders.Just as martin Kept is reliving his past glories,we get clive to feel his Boabie !! Now he would be outraged and chase clive from the recording studio, shouting ” I WOZ in the KRAYS you SLAAAAAAAAAG”.
and meanwhile, Esme and I , fresh from being Spear carriers in the latest Rome blockbuster thing, would waddle through dressed in our loin cloths,and simply move the settee etc out into the street.where you and gooner are waiting in a rental van.. Once you stop laughing at the sight of Esme and myself, trying to look deadly serious ! you would remove the booty!Meanwhile Kemp is still chasing Clive,so pick him up on the way eh?
clive that is NOT Martin fooking Kemp !
@*Dawny* wrote:
@sunny wrote:
Wish mine had a bloke who would take her out insted of sitting playing f00king games all night or on my space
Low life lazy scrounging tw at :evil:
I dont like my Lauren’s bloke, think the same of him as you do your daughter’s. If only we could choose our kids partners eh
But she lives with him, having a baby, wants us to like him and by God we have become sooooo good at convincing them we like him :roll:
The more we as parents show we hate their partner, the more we push our children away into the arms of the cretin we dislike. So we suck it up, slap a smile on our faces, embrace the wee tw@t and pray to God the the thing dont hurt our baby, cos he will find problems getting around with no legs :evil:I hear ya dawny.. i hear ya girl. ..
@esmeralda wrote:
@rubyred wrote:
@*Dawny* wrote:
*Wonders where Runy’s gonna shove the washing machine and tumble dryer*
what about Clive?
“runys” bowels are now emptied thanks to the crystals :) and dont worry bout my texhnique,,i get esme to pretend to faint ,and i walk in all official with me clipboard, thats really my lucky bingo board, simply bark a few orders to “attend to the fainting lady” and say im removing damaged stock.. By the time esme is fluttering her eyelashes and over acting ( again) ..im half way doon the road pushing the buggers into a passing van.
Over acting? Overrrrrrrr Actingggggg?Acting Overrrrleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
*Staggers..swoons with delicate little hand to pale brow* I will have you know I was big in Gulliver’s Travels..The Panto.
Which was a f**ker as I was supposed to be one of the ickle Lilliputians. :roll:ffs ya only played second boothole from the right ! totally ruined my entertainment that night. as ya popped yer head out and started quoting hamlet !
“the talking boothole” reported the press !! They thought it was part of the script, and the success went RIGHT to your heid ! The rest of the show was cut, apart from the bootlhole wittering “oh no he did NOT” and “its behind ye” over and over again !
@*Dawny* wrote:
My mum never let us have boys stay over. Mind, I am the only one out of 7 kids to actually have had a bloke sleep over at my mums AND stay in the same bed before being married!!!! And this was only in the last 5 years lol and I’m 39!
oh hell no it was NOT allowed back then.. seems to be more relaxed nowadays and id rather know they were safe indoors.Not like its a different bloke every week, dianes daughter has taken her mum into her confidence and asked. She is well within her rights to say “no” . but ID rather know, at 19 their gonna get up to all-sorts in other people houses and parks,, or was that just me LOL.. If dianes daughter feels she has the trust of her mum, she is more liable to take precautions etc..
its a personal decision i suppose. !
@*Dawny* wrote:
*Wonders where Runy’s gonna shove the washing machine and tumble dryer*
what about Clive?
“runys” bowels are now emptied thanks to the crystals :) and dont worry bout my texhnique,,i get esme to pretend to faint ,and i walk in all official with me clipboard, thats really my lucky bingo board, simply bark a few orders to “attend to the fainting lady” and say im removing damaged stock.. By the time esme is fluttering her eyelashes and over acting ( again) ..im half way doon the road pushing the buggers into a passing van.
yes.
/gets the massive egg box and leaves, heading for currys.
