rusty trawler

@peanut wrote:

Dear Rusty Trawler

As a nurse (as in the naughty dress up variety) I happen to know it’s very bad for a man to be without a date on valentines day. All that sexual energy and no release. Many a man has died from much less, I can tell you. And as a Good Samaritan I feel that it’s my duty to take pity on you, so please find my CV and…

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@kent f OBE wrote:

Dear Lusty Caller

I too have been left on the shelf and once again be on my own on Valentines Day.

You sound like the kind of man I would love to share the rest of my life with, my mum promises she won’t interfere with any more of my relationships and has assured me I will be allowed to go out on a date without her in tow. Her…

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Dear Mrs Jen

My last letter seems to have aroused your displeasure. I’m not entirely sure why, but please permit me the opportunity to allay any fears and concerns you may currently harbour. I assure you that my intentions remain, as always, entirely honourable.

Firstly, in a bid to maintain a scintilla of the gentlemanly charm and good grace I…[Read more]

Dear Miss Jen

Please forgive the extended formality but I’m an old-fashioned gentleman of old-fashioned virtue and a lady remains a lady until she musters the courage to visit my humble abode unchaperoned for the first time. I dare say once you have stepped over that particular figurative Rubicon you will question why my good name has been b…[Read more]

@cheekylittleminx wrote:

Dear Mr Trawler .
This letter will be short but sweet , bit like me really im not a person to overdo it on letter writing ill just get straight to the point. I would be honoured to be you’re valentine date no chocolates or flowers needed , just the fine company of a very lovely man like yourself.by reading Jens application…

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Dear Jen

I’m heartened that my parsimonious disposition hasn’t tempered our correspondence in any way. I’m a technological Luddite by nature but new fangled emails have the advantage of removing the need for a stamp budget, and the savings thus far have been utilised to enhance my bespoke aftershave collection. I’m extremely confident that I…[Read more]

Jen Jen. The gal’s hilarious.

Dear Miss Jen

Many thanks for your speedy application.

A limited edition photocopy of a portrait by the esteemed Pablo Warhol would in time, no doubt, become a valuable asset and would actually add some veracity to my usual approach at luring the ladies when I say, ‘would you like to come upstairs and view my etchings?’ I’d actually have som…[Read more]

@AngelBabe wrote:

My son and his girlfriend made me a nanny this morning
Congratulations to you both on the birth of you’re little boy

Tyler James
weight 7lb’s 8 oz

Congratulations Grandma Angelbabe.

I like the name.

LOL

Absolutely hilarious. Deserves a a much better reply than this but momentarily rendered speechless. Love it.

@SimplySu wrote:

I just might be 40 today …

Thanks for remembering, Kenty! Promise I wont punch you in the face now x x
Thanks JenJen … nice to see you back, honey x x

And Su’s birthday too? Crikey! A whole of a whooping and a hollering gonna be happening today. Welcome to the forties. There’s an irony that you’ll soon get used to: as we…[Read more]

Have a good one Tracy & McV.

It’s a Friday, so there’s no excuse for not having a celebratory toast in your honour.

@kent f OBE wrote:

@rusty trawler wrote:

Rustytrawler.co.uk is available. I may purchase that to use a natural home for my more savoury JC rants.

I’m more of a “sweet” person :lol:

lol Kenty.

Note to self: don’t try to work and be funny on the boards at the same time, you just end up being crap at both. i should have said unsavoury, completely…[Read more]

@Wordsworth60 wrote:

@rusty trawler wrote:

. . .. . . I don’t have a particular interest in shipping boats . . . . . .

Do you do gravy boats then? We’re having sausage and mash tonight. . . . .

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hmmmmmmm! sausages and mash. Might have to get the trusty rusty trawler out and fish for an invite.

Incidentally,…[Read more]

@Mrs_Teapot wrote:

@rusty trawler wrote:

So that’s the identity of the two new frequent visitors to rustytrawler.com

Ha! I wasn’t referring to that site…. had a peep now though :D

It’s not mine, Mrs T. However, rustytrawler.co.uk is available. I may purchase that to use a natural home for my more savoury JC rants.

@tinks wrote:

@rusty trawler wrote:

So that’s the identity of the two new frequent visitors to rustytrawler.com

it’s yours?

Lol i was just being silly. didn’t know that the site actually existed, it’s not mine. contrary to popular misconception, I don’t have a particular interest in shipping boats – rusty or spanking new – but I do however like…[Read more]

So that’s the identity of the two new frequent visitors to rustytrawler.com

@jen_jen wrote:

:-#

You’re right, jen jen, I really shouldn’t encourage him.

@DANNY2011 wrote:

yeah looks a nice well chilled place that mrs tea cup maybe we both cud sneak into that lock up there nd snuggle up lol

Lol. Looks like you really are special, Mrs T.

@SimplySu wrote:

at the overuse of ‘susie’

x

lol. sorry