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this is the best ebay add ever !
Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6’0″ and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:
1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.
Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I’m feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.
Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.
I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we’ll call it even.
grrrrr ive got 13 clocks to change now. so there goes my extra hour ffs
@pikey wrote:
I reckon Leslie Grantham could get you off to a tee(GEOFF). I hear you have similar hobbies.
WELL DONE PIKEY. LMFAO
creed – six feet from the edge
nickleback – photograph
@pikey wrote:
It’s the colours that stop you spotting it. It actually kinks both ways. The two small triangles have different gradients. One is 2/5 and one is 3/8. The total area for the shapes is 32. One 8×3 triangle, area 12, two L shaped pieces, total area 15, one 5×2 triangle, area 5. The area of the supposed big triangle is 0.5x13x5=32.5
The half each way is down to whether the hypotoneuse is convex or concave.
my brain hurts !!! ](*,)
giz some of ur drugs tommy they seam to be working a treat :lol:
hey the next time she hits you make sure you catch it on film then send it to you’ve been framed. and hey presto u get £250 so u can go and get pissed and get off with someone else and u can blame her for all of it :lol:
women drivers (clueless)
old drivers (pissing coffin dodgers)
drink drivers (murderers)
boy/girl racers (they think they can drive but cant)
traffic wardens (b’astards f**k off and get a real job)
speed cameras (a pigs piggy bank)
inland revenue (hitlers henchmen)
bbc tv licence fee (thieving b’astards)
credit cards (far to easy to get into debt)
people that share f**ked music files (delete them you lazy sods)
the price of cigarettes (almost £5 for 20 ffs 80 odd % of that is tax)
non smokers (drop dead and stop moaning)
annoying nieghbours (if ur gonna play music in the early hours at least play something half decent ffs)
dss (useless gits)
people that dont know what a national speed limit sign means (ffs it dont mean 30 sodding mph)
horse riders on the road (we should nail shoes to your feet and ride you along the road while whipping you)
the welsh (for be’ing welsh)
france (lets nuke the f**kers)
bush and blair (ffs your gonna kill us all)
people with bluetooth headsets (ffs take it out your ear your NOT that important so stop pretending to be)
oss youre too late cos me and my cricket bat are already in room 101
