[William_A_Edge]

Habital Eating

It isn’t very nice
In fact it’s very rude
To leave the table
Whilst others are eating food

You should take it easy
Give your food time to digest
And don’t be forgetting
We have another guest

It’s not a competition
It is not a race
So why do you gobble
When feeding your face

Why do you swallow
Why can’t you chew
Your liable to choke
And I wont know what to do

I can not understand
Why you eat so fast
You’ll get indigestion
Like you have done in the past

Then you’ll blame the food
When it isn’t that at all
Complain about chest pains
And drive me up the Wall

Please heed this warning
And take your time
Just like normal people do
When sitting down to dine

by William A Edge

[William_A_Edge]

The Shopping Game

Now think about it
Take your time
Was it lemon?
or was it lime?
I know I want
some batter mix
But was it cornflakes
or wheetabix?
I also need
a loaf of bread
But was it thick or thin?
she said
Washing up liquid
Mild shampoo
Toilet rolls
for the loo
Ham,butter
a slab of cheese
Tomato soup
a tin of peas
Now have I got
everything
Ah! Onions but
Spanish or spring?
What a to do
this shopping game
I hope she don’t
send me again
I suppose
I enjoyed it though
Maybe next time
I will go

by William A Edge

[William_A_Edge]

Those were the Days

You could go out, leave your door ajar
You could go for a walk, not see a car
You could say hello ,without feeling strange
You could spend two pence ,still have some change
You could see a policeman ,walking his beat
When children could play ,safely on the street
You could go to a store ,get something that you need
When wages were more ,than just chicken feed
When public service ,meant just what it says
You could trust someone ,but then those were the days

by William A Edge

[William_A_Edge]

Bar Tender

Being a barman is quite enlightening
What the punters don’t know is quite frightening
Politics,religion and what should be done
The moon and the stars everything under the sun
They know all the celebrities and how they behave
They know what to buy and how to save
I listen to them earnestly and take it all in
So when I invest I’m bound to win

by William A Edge

[William_A_Edge]

The Security Officer

Walking round the site
right from dusk to dawn
Keeping an high profile
in his uniform
Walks back to the gatehouse
having finished his patrol
Picks up the reciever
and dials his contrul
Everything in order
nothing to report
Thank you for your check call
carry on officer Short
Makes himself a cuppa
puts food out for the dog
Lights up a cigarette
and writes down in his log
When hes finished his shift
he can go home for a rest
Then return next duty
feeling at his best

by William A Edge

[William_A_Edge]

Anton’s Dream

I climbed to the top of the hill
taking up a favourable position
I had not long to wait
suddenly it began
the sky became a splash of red
reminding me of her beautiful auburn hair
as the sun took its rightful place
illuminating the plush green fields
reminding me of her sparkling eyes
the flowers in the meadow became a mass of pink’s
for a while, as mine eye’s blinked
at the powerful light
reminding me of her glorious complexion
a gentle breeze kissed my cheek
reminding me of her inviting lips
I now began my decent
I saw her in the distance
I ran calling her name
alas as I got closer she was further away
my legs became as if stuck in glue
I began to sink
I was finding it difficult to breath
the earth was eating me up
suddenly she turned back
she laughed as my head became emerged
now all is black

by William A Edge

[William_A_Edge]

Hoosier Princess

To the princess of Indiana

When I traveled to Indiana
I was greeted in a lovely manner
I’m searching for my princess
So please send out an S.O.S.
To Hartford City in the morn
To see the place where she was born
She’s travelled South to a new home
She’s even took her favourite gnome
So off to Eaton,Delaware
Have you seen my Princess with the firey hair
She didn’t stop here I’m afraid
She headed South that handsome maid
So off to Muncie on the thirty five
It’s like looking for a bee in the largest hive
I found my Princess had moved on
Oh won’t you tell me where shes gone
On to Yorktown zip 47396
Feeling tired I need a fix
I was guided to Chesterfield ,Madison
No one knew where she had gone
I rested there now I feel great
Why don’t you try Edgewood mate
She not there but if all else fails
Take the 69 to Ingalls
Shes not here she never stopped
So down to Greenfield then I hopped
The people there didn’t understand
So I took the 70 to Cumberland
I visited the drop zone on Diamond Hill
But had no luck to locate her still
A fellow there said English by jove
Why don’t you try our Beech Grove
I’ve been given the run around so to speak
They send me now to Williams Creek
A junkie tapped me for a tipple
And pointed me to Rocky Ripple
I’m not beat yet ,I’ll travel still
My next location Zionsville
I think my friend you’ve come the wrong way
Try Clermont this guy did say
Someone has lead you on
She’s nearer Lawrence I reckon son
So to Lawrence my feet are burning
And for my Princess I am yearning
You have been mislead my friend
Take the 70 and at Spiceland take a left bend
Then to her Castle it is New
I’m sure you will enjoy the veiw
At the Raintree Inn on South State Road
Is where I finally shed my load
Now I’m really so excited
As to her palace I hope to be invited

by William A Edge

[William_A_Edge]

Thank you Mary,love your design-Love William xxx

[William_A_Edge]

Blast from my Past

THE BALLAD OF BIRMINGHAM

Theres a place called Birmingham
that I love dearly
It nestles in the midlands as you know
Where the people speak a very funny language
They say aint and daint, woont and ere and yoh
Just to hear again the rumble of the tramcars
The buse’s as they journey on their way
To watch the liners berth at Saltley dockyard
And see the ships go down the river Rea
The breeze that blows from Summer Lane to Nechells
Are perfumed by the gas works on its course
But if the wind is in the opposite direction
You’ll maybe get a whiff of Holbrook’s sauce
And to hear again the hawkers in the Bull Ring
As they sell their ware’s from barrow and from stall
Now the buildings gone off the permit
We’ll maybe get a roof on the market hall
I have tried to show you Brum in all its glory
You know as much as me I must confess
And now I’m at the ending of my story
I’ll wish you all good night and god bless

by William A Edge

Author’s Comments:
“THIS IS NOT MY WORK, IT IS A SONG THAT USED TO BE SUNG IN LOCAL BARS YEARS AGO”

[William_A_Edge]

Keeping up with the Jone’s

Look outside George what do you see
A hedge, some flowers, a lamp post , a tree
No George, I mean over there
Oh the woman with the blue tinted hair
No George don’t be a fool
You mean the children coming home from school
No the Jone’s drive, they’ve got a new car
Well I’m not getting rid of my old jam jar
You don’t have to George, here’s what to do
Buy me a new car then we’ll have two

by William A Edge

[Author]

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