Come Back Oh Ghosty One! 😮

I was just in my new outer space cinema room watching a documentary about this body builder called Mr Bolton, the story starts where his long suffering Mother tries to get him to ballet classes at the local social club where she plays bingo with a bust dabber as she cannot afford £1 for another one until she gets lucky. So obviously he repents as teenagers do you know the crack as he thought his friends would call him  ” Shirley ” or some idiotic name like that, oh wait that’s right it’s his long suffering Mothers name.

So instead he stole some weights from the Nuffield Gym, and started pumping iron with his puny arms with 2kgs on each arm saying ” look at me Shirley ain’t I a big boy now ” she replies ” No son I still bath you you’re certainly not big ” anyways ole mcfc phoned to say Manchester City had lost again. So Shirley promised to buy him a new footy top so he would stop crying on the phone and promised to bring it to his flat. < Loud foot steps  along with chanting I have pulled old Shirley > in the background.

So Shirley leaves to go to work with notes left on the fridge telling him how to open the door,  and not to touch her fudge cake along with his ironed mr men underpants on the radiator as he liked to wear these whilst pumping iron. Then as he’s pumping away sweating like frigid bloke in a brothel with a pocket full of cash, the inevitable happens his puny arms snap straight in two. He rings 999 with his over grown toe nails and shouts ” Hurry up I need my arms sorting out ” the ambulance took 3 hours to get there as it was only old Shirley’s son.

They help him into a and e at Bolton hospital only to see a grey haired anxious looking woman cleaning the toilets, then it dawned on him and his legs went like jelly that his mum always told him ”  i’m a nurse son I have a career i’m very intelligent I will have you know “. Yup old Shirley lied to him and was indeed a toilet cleaner.

So instead of staying to have his two puny arms sorted out he ran off in shock to sit behind the local steroid dealers home, then he spots this extremely large man saying ” I will be back ” so he asks for the time. The meathead approaches showing all his muscular veins and offers to pump his arms full of steroids to cure the pain, which he gladly accepts.

Hi my names Arnold Swarfega the giant man said to a reply in a whimpering voice ” I am old Shirley’s son ” so that’s how he became knowing as Shirley Whirly anyways for years Swarfega said he would wash his hands with him but their fondness of wanting the Mr Bolton title became more and more apparent as their main goal in life.

Yup Shirley Whirly wins the title and runs home to tell his ever suffering Mother that wanted him to be ballet dancer he had finally done it he was Mr Bolton. Pow the door swings open only to hear very heavy panting noises upstairs so he sprints upstairs bursts the door open and shouts ” What The Hell Is Going On Here ” only to see his Long suffering Mother using his Bull worker.

Not sure I should tell you the end of the story…hmmmm oh well why not he ends up getting stripped of his title and thrown in jail for fifteen years for steroid abuse and dealing in anabolic steroids and Cannabis in seriously large quantities. That’s how old Shirley gave up bingo and bought a new dabber here at Just Chat  

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BadderThanBadF

Don’t you know who old Shirley is then lol

You named 2 on the other thread they’re 6 all together, go on see if you can guess the rest

Although watching f1 they could be a seventh not sure yet will keep you up to date

Go on please name the other four it will be helpful to the cause