DEAF RACEHORSE?

A trainer enters his horse in the Grand National and, as the horses parade, he briefs his jockey.

“He’s got a heart like a lion and he’ll run all day,” says the trainer. “He has a great chance of winning this race but you keep him up with the leading horses right from the start, understood?” “understood!” says the jockey. “One more thing about this horse,” says the trainer. “As you approach each fence, you need to shout ‘1-2-3 JUMP!’, got that?” “Got it!” says the jockey.

As the horses get ready for the ‘Off’ the jockey thinks, theres NO WAY I am going to say 1-2-3 JUMP! to the horse, my fellow jockeys will laugh at me!!!!

The race starts and the horse runs up to the first fence and ploughs straight through it, nearly losing the jockey. The horse loses about 50 yards on the rest of the field. They recover but plough straight through the next fence and the jockey only just manages to hang on. They have lost about 200 yards by the time they approach the third fence and the jockey sees no-one esle is around and shouts “1-2-3 JUMP!”. The horse sails beautifully over the fence and lands running.

He tries it again at the next fence, “1-2-3-JUMP!” he shouts, and again the horse sails clean over the fence and lands at the gallop. By this time, the jockey doesn’t care who hears him. “1-2-3 JUMP!” he shouts at each fence and they soon start passing by stragglers and catching up with the leaders. Alas, the finishing post comes too soon and they lose the race by a short-head.

The jockey knows that, had he shouted “1-2-3 JUMP!” at the first two fences, the horse would have won easily and he sees the irate trainer rushing towards him with steam coming out of his ears and quickly thinks up his excuses.

“Before you say anything,” says the jockey, “I DID shout 1-2-3 JUMP! at the first two fences but, in all honestly, I don’t think the horse heard me over the din of the crowd, the thumping hooves and the swearing jockeys. It was only when we fell behind and the noise eased that your horse responded properly. In all honestly. I think your horse might be a bit deaf”.

“Deaf?” shouts the trainer. “Deaf? He’s not bloody deaf you idiot! He’s fecking BLIND!”