Dear Father Christmas……

@panickstricken wrote:

All I want for Christmas is…..

1. A job as an MP or in a ladies underwear department.
2. A nuclear device to force favours from the Prime Minister.
3. Lots of lovely nude ladies to go to the cinema with.
4. A black and white pony and some polo mints, or a badger.
5. Some trees for my garden.
6. Some writing paper to write down details of Unfortunate Incidents.
7. A pen, obviously.
8. A garden for my trees.
9. A car that goes at a thousand miles an hour and uses stones instead of petrol.
10. A hundred pairs of socks – one for every day of the year.

p.s. I have been a good boy this year, if you don’t count the Unfortunate Incident in the old folks home with the vaccum cleaner and the other Unfortunate Incident with the young lady in the Easter Bunny outfit in Selfridges and that was her fault cos she shouldn’t have bent over to give that little girl an egg when her mum was there and could have easily taken it for her. I have had no Unfortunate Incidents worthy of note for nearly 5 weeks, well none that have involved police or social workers.

9. A car that goes at a thousand miles an hour and uses stones instead of petrol.
Wake up and smell your own cheese please ffs – cars barely go above 200mph – so you think in your wish you are gonna be granted a car that could perform the quatum leap, you so need to take speed just to slow your reality down, you twassac :lol:

10. A hundred pairs of socks – one for every day of the year.

So there is ony one hundred days in the year feck me – i’m 102 years old alredy and there was me thinkin i was 34. Again ya twassac there is 364 days in a year therefore needing 364 pairs of socks to last a year unless of course you have a washing machine, in which case 10 /20 pairs should last ya if you wash them :lol:

sorry for picking faults Pan Strik – please rehearse your speech next time :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dear Father Xmas,
I am prepared to give up all my presents, thus giving you more time to
deliver exeryone elses if you will do me the small favour of leaving a
time-bomb in the sock of the barstard that keeps vandalising cars in my
area!
Yours OK

@oss wrote:

@panickstricken wrote:

All I want for Christmas is…..

1. A job as an MP or in a ladies underwear department.
2. A nuclear device to force favours from the Prime Minister.
3. Lots of lovely nude ladies to go to the cinema with.
4. A black and white pony and some polo mints, or a badger.
5. Some trees for my garden.
6. Some writing paper to write down details of Unfortunate Incidents.
7. A pen, obviously.
8. A garden for my trees.
9. A car that goes at a thousand miles an hour and uses stones instead of petrol.
10. A hundred pairs of socks – one for every day of the year.

p.s. I have been a good boy this year, if you don’t count the Unfortunate Incident in the old folks home with the vaccum cleaner and the other Unfortunate Incident with the young lady in the Easter Bunny outfit in Selfridges and that was her fault cos she shouldn’t have bent over to give that little girl an egg when her mum was there and could have easily taken it for her. I have had no Unfortunate Incidents worthy of note for nearly 5 weeks, well none that have involved police or social workers.

9. A car that goes at a thousand miles an hour and uses stones instead of petrol.
Wake up and smell your own cheese please ffs – cars barely go above 200mph – so you think in your wish you are gonna be granted a car that could perform the quatum leap, you so need to take speed just to slow your reality down, you twassac :lol:

10. A hundred pairs of socks – one for every day of the year.

So there is ony one hundred days in the year feck me – i’m 102 years old alredy and there was me thinkin i was 34. Again ya twassac there is 364 days in a year therefore needing 364 pairs of socks to last a year unless of course you have a washing machine, in which case 10 /20 pairs should last ya if you wash them :lol:

sorry for picking faults Pan Strik – please rehearse your speech next time :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oss your 34? You seem younger… :shock: