Is this acceptable?? Mover over, mr q; a joke which isn't a joke.

Mister q, don’t worry about it.

Cosy doesn’t need me or anyone else to have a go at people.

But I do have a friendly word of advice.

When you came here you were telling everyone to be positive, to have nothing but nice things to say to anyone, to ignore those who are rude and nasty to you.

I thought that was excellent advice. The boards had been incredibly negative – downright nasty, in fact – for a long time.

So I suggest that you keep to that advice of yours. If you don’t like how some people talk or behave, just shrug your shoulders and continue to set an example for all to follow. Stop telling other people how to behave, not to say things whihc are naughty, etc etc.

You may well be right to think that, but you’re getting drawn into a negative, defensive stance, just like the one you came here condemning, mister q.

So – with the best intent in the world – really – just cool your heels, ignore the rubbish thrown at you or your friends, just keep being positive.

You’ll get less upset – really.

I intend nothing sarcastic in saying any of that – just a friendly word of advice.

1 member liked this post.

lindaclemenza7

This is a (sort of) joke about a dirty parrot which some may not find very funny and whihc others will, hopefully, understand.

It’s to allow me to tell some jokes which are (sort of) cruel or out of bounds. I like jokes whihc cross boundaries; political correctness is the enemy of humour.

There was a terribly polite gentleman who used to invite his nice friends along to his room so that they could play charades and trivial pursuit, talk about exciting Boy’s Own type movies and reminisce about tv shows they used to love as children, and they would end by proving how wild they were by dancing to heavy metal music.

However, the gentleman kept a parrot that wouldn’t stop swearing and cursing. Throughout the day, the parrot would swear the most disgusting and obscene words you could think of. The polite gentleman was beside himself with embarrassment – it was spoiling his room, and keeping many nice people away despite all of his efforts to add sparkle to their evenings..

Tonight, with an exciting quiz for nice people coming up, he decides that action has to be taken. He starts to threaten the parrot, but this just makes the parrot worse. So the nice gentleman grabs the parrot by the neck and throws him in a drawer whihc eh closes. From inside the drawer, the parrot lets out a load of filth that makes the gentleman want to die. The evening is going to be destroyed.

So the gentleman takes the parrot by the neck and throw him in the freezer, closing the fridge. He then walks off to greet his nice friends and they settle for a game of pass the parcel, which always gets people laughing.

After a while, the gentleman gets worried. Just silence. he puts his ear to the fridge door, and nothing. Perhaps the parrot has frozen to death, hypothermia or some shit like that.

He opens the freezer door and the parrot hops out and perches on his shoulder, saying “Sir, words cannot express the depth of my apologies. From this moment, my master will not hear one vulgarity or swear word from my lips. I shall speak like nice people”.

The gentleman looks at the parrot and cannot believe his ears; he is delighted. The parrot continues, “By the way, sir, what did the chicken do?”

Have an amazing day. *nods to a John Cooper Clark poem.