Men!

@toybulldog wrote:

The washing machine door didn’t open after the wash. We discussed this calamitous event and I advised waiting for a bit with my wise face on which always temporarily convinces. She goes out and calls me later, while I’m watching the match, ( !!! ) – will underline that bit later . . . . . . saying ‘will I hang it out on the radiators ? ‘ . . . . . ‘Of course my cherished xx’.

We’re 2-0 up so I can spare a few seconds.

The door decides to open. Hoo-bloody-rah. I take out a load of dripping wet washing which isn’t supposed to be this wet. The smaller items get acquainted with the central heating system, but alas the larger ones don’t appear with armbands or webbed feet like the Man From Atlantis. I’m a bloke playing Tour of Domestic Duty and thinking hard now.

I’ll try another spin, hope it’s finished before she gets back, miss all the post match analysis of course, get it half-dry and hope against hope that I’ve done the right thing.
And ignore the inevitable nagging feelings that I’ve cocked up again by being male.

Some hope

This is wonderful my jaw ached with laughing, you must know my husband Toy, so funny!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Men: Are amazing, fantastic, great lovers, great friends, good partners, great to live with………..AS LONG AS THEY BLUDY DO AS THEY ARE TOLD!!!! :lol:

It is not nagging. It is Automatic Repetetive Voice Mode. 8)

The new bird bath has disappeared, along with the feeder and birdseed. She keeps looking at me suspiciously, as if she’s got secret information that I’m involved with secret criminal organisations in stolen bird baths, and will carry on with the wonky-eye treatment until I come clean. Which is a bit mad since I paid for the bloody contraption in B+ flippin Q, but let’s not get bogged down in logical specifics. And she’s just put out an all points bulletin on Smooth feckin Radio.

What to do, what to do. The pressure’s building. I’m not the sort of bloke to leave a starving starling short of it’s late autumn nuts. You can tell this by the way I walk. But this is a serious matter and if I suddenly start flashing a load of readies I’ll be for the high jump. So I’ve been down the betting shop betting on horses that come in last.

So far so good. But now I fancy a munch of some tasty seeds for some strange reason. Dammit I’ll never keep this up. Best to own up to something I never actually did if I want a quiet life. Probably not a good time to mention that cardboard box I accidentally left on top of the wheelie bin.

I’m going out now to put signs up on all the local lamp posts. ‘ Have you seen this bird bath ?. . . . . please ring . . etc etc’.
I’ll add . . . . ‘Answers to the name of Tiddles’ to ensure it gets peoples attention.

That should work.

Aye it’s a good job I’m here.