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When my mother walked out on me and my sister back in the 1970’s, we were both under 7 years old.
Things were a bit different back then; in all cases the women always got custody of the children if they try to.
In my mother case, she never tried and in the years I was growing up, I only saw her a few times and now only talk to her once or twice a year.
Now I have been told that when she reaches 65 years old and if she needs social care, myself and my sister well have to contribute towards it.
I take the view that a “parent” is someone who care for you has a child, and it only seems fair you should look after them in there old age.
But there has to be a point where if that “parent” leaves, that responsibility ends for both.
hey dead on arrival dont know your real name hun xxx i feel for both you and your sister ……..really xxx
there are no words to describe what you feel but i feel one of the most important things to do (if you have not already done it) is to speak to her find out why and maybe build bridges xx speakin as someone who knows absolutely nothin bout ur situation or you mums so difficult to be more helpful
god bless and hugsssssss
xxxx
Cath, I know you are new here but you need to get a grip, girl! Two simple rules in JC Boards: You do NOT give DOA hugs. You do NOT give DOA kisses.
Offer him sympathy rather than abuse if you really must, but stick to the rules please!
Someone should have pointed this out to you when you started, soz.
Pmsl James ur all heart fgs
hugsssssss xxx
xxx xxx
Hi.
I work in the business and I don’t know of anywhere where relatives are expected to contribute to social care for their parents etc. The only exception may be for residential care where the chosen care home charges more than social services standard rates where relatives might offer to pay a top-up. Where did you get this info from? Mr amphibian
I got this letter from a London council on Fri telling me that my mother had gone into a residential care home and a form asking me about earning.
hey dead on arrival dont know your real name hun xxx i feel for both you and your sister ……..really xxx
there are no words to describe what you feel but i feel one of the most important things to do (if you have not already done it) is to speak to her find out why and maybe build bridges xx speakin as someone who knows absolutely nothin bout ur situation or you mums so difficult to be more helpful
god bless and hugsssssss cath55
Cath, I know you are new here but you need to get a grip, girl! Two simple rules in JC Boards: You do NOT give DOA hugs. You do NOT give DOA kisses.
Offer him sympathy rather than abuse if you really must, but stick to the rules please!
Someone should have pointed this out to you when you started, soz
james belfast
James is right cath55, one thing I did learn from an young age was inpendance!
Can’t you get them to knock off a few quid from your ‘contributions’ if you promise to unblock their toilets for free??
ToMmY-ToXeNSorry tommy but untill you get off your fat ass and get a real job, I am stuck paying your share again. mmmmmmmmm……………….. Tommy could get a job wiping old peoples assies all day.
@tommy-toxen wrote:
i’m very happy in my current job thankyou, and in 4 years i’ll be running my own day care centre, don’t be so angry just because i have a future and middle aged you is stuck unblocking toilets for a living!
and my share?? she’s not my mum ya selfish git.
at least i’d put my mum in a private home!
You work in day care TT?? I always saw you doing something demanding where you can rule people and i do mean it in a nice way :D But if thats what you do fair play worthy job DOA so dont take the pee just coz you are an ASSSSSSS! :lol:
dya know wat doa i dont know if you are contraversial or just angry ………
there are many people in the this life who have not had it at all easy .- and no i aint led a charmed life ……..but still a few of them make it through with out being angry or bitter n twisted………and no doa i am not some do gooder………..being nice doesnt cost anything…..
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
hugss anyway xxx
@tommy-toxen wrote:
@becky wrote:
@tommy-toxen wrote:
i’m very happy in my current job thankyou, and in 4 years i’ll be running my own day care centre, don’t be so angry just because i have a future and middle aged you is stuck unblocking toilets for a living!
and my share?? she’s not my mum ya selfish git.
at least i’d put my mum in a private home!
You work in day care TT?? I always saw you doing something demanding where you can rule people and i do mean it in a nice way :D But if thats what you do fair play worthy job DOA so dont take the pee just coz you are an ASSSSSSS! :lol:
not yet, getting the qualifications now – then doing child psychology
and lol@demanding, i’d love to be a policeman, but since i’m white, middle classed & from a nice background, my application form would be at the bottom of the pile..!! :lol:
:lol: Well good for you its a worthy job to have and good luck with it x
@dead_on_arrvial wrote:
When my mother walked out on me and my sister back in the 1970’s, we were both under 7 years old.
Things were a bit different back then; in all cases the women always got custody of the children if they try to.
In my mother case, she never tried and in the years I was growing up, I only saw her a few times and now only talk to her once or twice a year.
Now I have been told that when she reaches 65 years old and if she needs social care, myself and my sister well have to contribute towards it.
I take the view that a “parent” is someone who care for you has a child, and it only seems fair you should look after them in there old age.
But there has to be a point where if that “parent” leaves, that responsibility ends for both.
If a parent leaves his/her children, and she never contributed to bring you up and never even made an effort to make regular visits, then she does not deserve a penny from either you or your sister.
You have to give to recieve and by the sounds of things she has never given. Who ever brought you up should automatically take the place of your mother.
I cant even imagine what it most feel like to be in the situation your in. But to be honest I never thought that a person could be made to pay for his or her parents care when they reach old age.I think its disgusting if he has to pay anything towards her care. If what DOA says is true, then she doesn’t deserve it. There has gotta be a law where a person can’t be forced into doing it, DOA should look it up on the net.
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