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  • #1117084

    She didn’t know why she was here. Leaning her hands either side of the sink ,she looked at her reflection in the mirror and repeated the mantra she had said for the past half an hour “I am in control,he isn’t” at that point looking past herself in the mirror and making eye contact with the woman who had just come in. Great! She thought as the stranger looked again at her as if waiting for this talking to herself in the mirror lady may turn on her at any second.

    Her eyes focused back onto herself in the mirror as she tried to compose herself, she took in the deepest of breaths and breathed out as if that would fix her slightly shaking hands and heartbeat racing. She knew he would be here of course, he’s Gemma’s brother ,it’s her birthday party so of course he would,but she had hoped with so many people here she would be able to avoid him.Which now when she thought about it was as naive a thought than she had ever had. He had always been the same with her, every second in the same room knowing exactly what he was doing to her and purposefully enjoying it too,no,she would not let him win. She just had to take control and not let him get the upper hand. For a moment she thought about why she had escaped to the bathroom in the first place, him suddenly behind her leaning close to her her,his breath touching her neck as he had commented saying she looked beautiful she looked tonight,she closed her eyes as she remembered..No,no not again she thought must get control!she said out loud as the woman who’d glanced so worriedly at her before came out of a cubicle and gave her that ‘she’s crazy’ look all over again to which this time she just stared back angrily was if to say’ yes?stared enough?’

    With a pretence of control she left the bathroom into the merry throng of people and music and talking and picking up a fresh glass of wine from the bar she sat down at one of the tables and watched as Gemma began to cut her birthday cake. Suddenly he’s there, sitting down beside her with a sigh and she knew looking at her and glancing every now and then at the events before them. She doesn’t look but her heart is racing ,she’s trying to think if the false cool demeanor she’s trying to pull off is actually fooling him but of course it isn’t,she knows it,and so does he.

    “So, going to speak to me then?” He says calmly and full of confidence with a hint of the smile that is playing on his lips. She remembers that night long ago,his hands around her waist pulling her into him,his lips on hers,her neck,her chest. No snap out of it she thinks suddenly annoyed at herself for remembering it no. They had been through this before and nothing had changed it wouldn’t work,it just couldn’t ,she had a life and enjoyed it she didn’t didn’t need to complicate it further by going into a relationship especially one containing Mr Ladies man here. He hadn’t actually settled down but he was always the one that the girls giggled about fancying. She replied then “what’s there to say?it’s Gemma’s party,that’s why we’re here,glad you’re well” why did she say that? She thought angrily to herself, knowing that as the words came out they stumbled out showing that yes she was nervous and he was getting to her. She feels that smile he has right now,feels his eyes looking at her closely and feels the heat on her face rising and shifts in her seat as if sitting up even further will give her back some control. He laughs, seeing right through this game and knowing every move ahead but yet clearly allowing her to try and escape just to enjoy every moment of it,knowing how she feels and enjoying every second .”Willing to give up yet? “He says,smile again playing on his lips. ” I refuse” she retorts,realising how childish it sounds now and smiling for a second before shaking her head and and trying to look anywhere else so that he can’t see her face. ” I hate you” she says with absolutely no conviction at all,quickly he retorts as the words fall out of her mouth “But you don’t” and he laughs again as he says it,his deep chuckle making her smile. She shakes her head,eyes trying to look around the room to anyone but him,as if every shake of her head is saying no.

    She turns her head to face him then,he’s still the same..a glint of mischief, his smile everything about him is the same as it ever was ” We discussed it and as I explained it would never work,last time was too much drink and your tendancies,you caught me off guard ” she hopes her false confidence has come across,she didn’t stumble her words this time,she’s nearly stopped blushing but her heart is still beating fast suddenly his words bring her out of her thoughts “Is that your first glass tonight?” He says. She feels a flush of annoyance then what is he trying to say? I’m drunk? She faces him then “Yes actually and as you can very well see I’ve just had a couple of ” the word sips is lost as suddenly he leans forward kissing her ,his hand holding her face as she finally gives in.

    #1117094

    This is like mills and boon.  That’s the politest I can be.

    Space after a comma and two spaces after a full stop.

     

    #1117096

    Lol mizzy. 5 points

    1 member liked this post.
    #1117104

    Sara,

    I didn’t like it as much as the first story, but it’s well-written and really good that you’ve not been frightened off creative writing in jc.

    It left less to the imagination than the first, and it could have been cut a bit??? But that may just be me – I like brevity. The shorter a piece, the more attention is paid to every word. But that isn’t everyone. You spent quite a time on one particular point in time, and that’s a good talent.

    Anyway, don’t pay any attention to this wannabe Simon Cowell writing this post. I think it#s just really good that you’re writing these.

     

    #1117108

    The funeral went smoothly
    The vol a vonts seemed to be well accepted and she shook everyones hand.
    She was presentable, make up applied and wearing black of course. She resented every single one of them, laughing and reciting anecdotes as if he had been dead for years. He had not been dead for years, how dear they?

    She sucked up her anger like she was enhaling on a cigarette

    Family members crawling out of the woodwork like the bugs who either eat your clothes or make you itch in a private place.

    you think the tears are water from my eyes? no they are blood dripping from my broken heart

    all the wows and the ‘remebering’ from so many who never even knew what he was

    the attention seeking and the validations that will never ever dilute who that person was

    one person one single person and on the great scale of the world meant nothing?

    so do we all mean nothing? one person exploded into hysteria and floods of tears?

    some people focus on humans behaviour and reactions and write about that.

    its very shallow as everyone writes about that.

    i cannot excuse anyone for being shallow but i can highlight it

    everyone will call me a bitch for it

    to me he meant everything, the world is now just the world

    and i read about ‘he touched her arm and electricity ran shivvers down her spine’?

    in truth the world was spinning, she felt alone watching him from afar

    he was laughing and looking so attractive and texting her such naughty messages

    she watched her phone looking constantly for the proof that he cared

    truth was he didn’t so she posted on a stupid website showing off to get his attention

    she wanted to be seen and she would do whatever she needed to in order to get attention and to be seen

     

    #1117109

    sorry

    eek

    not only could I rewrite your shiit but I could make it really good.

    no I could make it passable.

    I know everyone hates me and you are really popular but I’m sorry

    your stuff is shit.

    no I’m not jealous

    its shit I could critique and rip it apart but hey everyone hates me so they would just jump on threads and abuse me.

    I could dissect it every single word lol

    I wont I am hated

    lol I’m not stupid though

     

    #1117111

    The funeral went smoothly
    The vol a vonts seemed to be well accepted and she shook everyones hand.
    She was presentable, make up applied and wearing black of course. She resented every single one of them, laughing and reciting anecdotes as if he had been dead for years. He had not been dead for years, how dear they?
    She sucked up her anger like she was enhaling on a cigarette
    Family members crawling out of the woodwork like the bugs who either eat your clothes or make you itch in a private place.
    you think the tears are water from my eyes? no they are blood dripping from my broken heart
    all the wows and the ‘remembering’ from so many who never even knew what he was
    the attention seeking and the validations that will never ever dilute who that person was
    one person one single person and on the great scale of the world meant nothing?

    She went outside holding the pendant he gave her

    She held it so close to her heart, she took the deepest breath in, like she was remembering his kisses, his hands on her, his eyes looking deep into her eyes.

    At night she couldn’t sleep, all she could think of was him and his body next to her.  To be in a relationship and for it to end just like that was so unkind and painful.  So she lay in her bed imagining he was still there holding her and kissing her and she tried to focus on remembering his voice talking to her.

    nothing would ever replace that

    sometimes she imagined she could hear him talking to her

    sometimes she found herself doing things the way he wanted.

    she missed him so much, he was not an ex, death is for forever

     

    he held her down and his hands around her throat, called her a whore, a piece of crap, he held her down so she could not breathe.

    in an isolated field where no one would ever help her, she was able to grab a rock, she hit him with the rock and survived.

    he smashed his head up and he died.

    she survived

     

    • This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  Dangermousey.
    #1117117

    Wannabee sceppers? what from Mr Impartial himself?…..LMAO RATF PML

    #1117119

    Always popular if yer an ass licker here……….(in my opinion based on solid evidence)….LMAO RATF PML

    #1117122

    To be honest………..which in my opinion sceppers isn’t……..but first of all……yes sincere approaches should be encouraged….and Mr Impartial is right there in that sense…

    Can i just say in the politest way possible i think sceppers is talking the biggest load of bs i’ve ever heard…..LMAO RATF PML……..

    Give my regards to orson…

     

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 12 total)

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