25 July, 2013 at 7:36 pm #19828
The plane touched down at Heathrow on an excessively hot day…
Huge(door)Knob cleared customs and made his way to the arrivals lounge,
looking cool in his dungaree’s, shirtless , with his banjo slung over his
” coooooeeeeeeee Huge knob, over here ” Nice_Pies_Female bellowed and waved
her meaty arms.
Huge jogged over and gave Nice_Pies a massive hug till she went a lovely shade of
duck egg blue.
” where’s Ugly_as_a_Moose Nicey? I thought you were both picking me up”
”Oh she’s in the car park, did’nt have time to untie her and get her off the roof rack, come
on, its such an exciting day, I love a wedding !! ”
Huge tucked Nice up under his arm and they made their way to the multi-story car park, to
find Ugly_as_a_Moose howling as a group of young teenagers threw cold McDonalds chips at
her and yelled ‘Hairy Arse’.
” get away you vile children, away with you” yelled Nice_Pies
Huge Knob spat his gum out at 55 mph catching a pimply faced youth smack in the eye.
” Yo Moosey ” Huge slapped moose’s hairy rump affectionately and squeezed his massive
shoulders into Nice_pies Fiat Panda.
” Come on, we’ve got a wedding to go to ” urged Nice_pies, ” I do hope theres lots of cake”
Somewhere down South, Jade_the_Blade eyed her wedding day outfit in the mirror.
” how do i look Born2poo ? ”
” You look lovely and cuddly Jadey and its very errr different ”
Jade_the_Blade looked again at the pink, fur trimmed onsie she had chosen to wear for the
” i think you’re right Born, but, foook me, I’m sweating like a Sumo wrestler on speed”
” brb ” said born, ” I need a poo ”
Jade_the_Blade and Filterchat were very much in love and had been close since Jade_the
_Blade had saved Filterchat from the evil clutches of chele, also known as Womb_at.
Guests had started arriving at the venue, BlondeBombshell was wearing a lovely Laura Ashley
sundress but could feel a trickle of moisture thread its way down her new and very
expensive bosoms. She wafted herself with a hand painted Chinese fan. ” I do wish they’d
hurry up , the smell of all these sweaty prawn rings is making me quite nauseous ”
Joker, having heard that Huge(door)Knob had been invited booked a spur of the moment
holiday to Madagascar.
Funny That ….
ManTan Tracy had slathered on extra max factor orange face make-up and’ windowlene’d ‘her
large, thick, spectacles.
Knitting_my_curtains was cooking in her knitted twin set and pearls, so flustered was she
that she accidently knocked her mobility scooter into reverse and ran over Mcfc4fs who was
trying to climb up onto a bar stool, which was a foot taller than himself.
Princess Kenty was furious, her invite to the wedding seemed to have been lost in cyberspace
and she’d de-fuzzed her top lip and nipples especially…. it still stung, thin saying it was ”like
sucking on a coconut”.
She made her way into JC seeking solace in the less popular men, well she
knewTainted_Heart would’nt be in, as he was taking his boring wife to B&Q and a local car
boot sale , in search of even more Capodimonte figurines.
” Buster sweety mwahhhhhh xxxx lovely to see you !! ” she really thought he was a pervy old
bastid, but harmless.
ChatGuide Nipple Stiffener watched her entrance and let out a long loud trump, all she
needed now was TaffyTuckshop and it would be like watching Miss Piggy and Cruella De Ville
having a bun fight.
on…..off…..on…..off…..on …… off ….. and back to catching up with Thick Slices pm’s
Filterchat, looking like an elongated Pingu, and Jade_the_Blade arrived at the Reception
looking Happy and Hot.
ManTan_Tracy burst out laughing and shouted ” foook me Jade, ya look like an uncooked
Ricmond pork sausage love !! ”
” shut it you and get some tunes on !! ”
RosePedalbin checked the text on her phone and laughed in delight… mwuh haha haha haha….
and she too waited for…
the next instalment….
To Be Continued…..25 July, 2013 at 8:53 pm #519856
that was better..more like the old style of Coathanger stories.
The fierce f3 civil wars which used to fuel these stories went thataway with a Welsh firebrand, I fear.
Camel Blue stories are gone forever, I also fear.25 July, 2013 at 10:53 pm #519857
Can’t wait for the buffet after the wedding :D
That Fiat Panda can fit in 4 wicker chairs, a wardrobe and a bookshelf from IKEA … but mooooosey’s antlers just would not go in …..26 July, 2013 at 1:59 pm #519858
Brill =D> x x26 July, 2013 at 5:29 pm #519859
brilliant xx26 July, 2013 at 8:33 pm #519860
loved it =D>