[Esmeralda]

@pats wrote:

i have an agorophobic bulldog as well as the cats.

Pats..he is snout-kissingly gorgeous!

[Esmeralda]

I’ll give the pig pie a miss, but bring on the Red Leicester with raw onion and a Lass o’ Gowrie apple!

[Esmeralda]

@bon bon wrote:

I GOT IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D

[Esmeralda]

@sharongooner wrote:

If it wisnae fur yer wellys where wid ye be
you’d be in the hospital or infirmary
cause you’d have a dose ae the flu or even plurisee
if ye didnae have your feet in your wellys.

wellys they are wonderful
wellys they are swell cause they keep out the water
and they keep in the smell.
and when yur sittin’ in a room
you can always tell when some bugger takes aff his wellys.

If it wisnae fur yer wellys where wid ye be
you’d be in the hospital or infirmary
cause you’d have a dose ae the flu or even plurisee
if ye didnae have your feet in your wellys.

Or when your out walkin’ in the country wae a bird
and your strollin’ over fields just like a farmers herd
and somebody shouts keep aff the grass
and you think how obsurd
and Squelch you find why farmers all wear wellys

If it wisnae fur yer wellys where wid ye be
you’d be in the hospital or infirmary
cause you’d have a dose ae the flu or even plurisee
if ye didnae have your feet in your wellys.

theres fishermen and firemen theres farmers an all
men out diggin’ ditches and workin’ in the snow
this country it wid grind to a halt and no a thing wid grow
if it wisnae fur the workers in their wellys.

If it wisnae fur yer wellys where wid ye be
you’d be in the hospital or infirmary
cause you’d have a dose ae the flu or even plurisee
if ye didnae have your feet in your wellys.

:lol:

That’s a trip down memory lane. I remember big banana feet himself – Billy Connolly – singing that umptyoodle years ago.
Listen to the whole funny skit HERE :P

[Esmeralda]

@pats wrote:

i worked in graftons bakery shop when i was 16. at lunchtime i used to have a gi normous sarnie and half a jam n cream cake fa dinner and never pay fa em like we was sposed too. also at closing time whilst the dragon of a manageress was checkin we had tided up properly i used to help meself to 40 fags from the fag machine. :D

Pats, I’m extremely disappointed in you….

….you only managed to scoff HALF a jam n’ cream cake? :shock:

[Esmeralda]

@drivel wrote:

Essie , my dear ;

My mother sold an organ last year . After my father died , no one really bothered playing it
I hope this wasn’t illegal , or immoral !!

Not at all sweetheart! The way I hear it though – you’ve been sharing your own organ for free – in fact a couple of erm..ladies..say you’ve been offering to pay THEM to tinkle on it..

[Esmeralda]

@Forget Me Not wrote:

I remember been chased by about ten bullies in high school, I was running away and one of them tripped me up, I fell over and landed on my wrist, breaking it. They just laughed, kicked me a few times and left me lying there in excrutiating pain. it was in an out of the way part of the building and school had just ended. I couldn’t move for the pain, it was a long time before I was found by a mate who had stayed behind to finish off some work. It was then I realised the true importance of good friends, he brought me to the first aid point and stayed with me as they put my arm in a sling

A rotten experience FMN. I wonder if these people ever look back with regret at the misery and despair they caused at school – I doubt it somehow.

[Esmeralda]

@prettypink wrote:

@esmeralda wrote:

Having been attacked by a gang of yobs one night, resulting in a broken arm, it took me a long time to confess that I didn’t snap my ulna and radius making contact with the chief assailant’s lantern jaw – but by tripping over my bag as I threw a right hook, and landed in a heap on the pavement. :oops:

lol! (Bless) Im only laughing at the end bit :lol:

Oh gawd, Pinks, the night got even worse after that. :lol: My then boyfriend, took me to A&E where I was taken off into a room by a male nurse and (as I later realised) abused. We were completely alone, and he insisted on stroking me and fondling my hair and saying that I was Trilby to his Svengali..jeez it was surreal. It took forever to get my arm plastered by this creep. I never told a soul about it, until I was able to point the geezer out to my husband, umpty years later when I was a patient in the same hospital.

[Esmeralda]

Having been attacked by a gang of yobs one night, resulting in a broken arm, it took me a long time to confess that I didn’t snap my ulna and radius making contact with the chief assailant’s lantern jaw – but by tripping over my bag as I threw a right hook, and landed in a heap on the pavement. :oops:

[Esmeralda]

@sharongooner wrote:

Esme…. I’ll leave the big words and wierd sentances to you, I know you’ll read this. Love ya, nuff said xxx :wink:

But I’m away with the faeries and no-one..and I MEAN no-one loves a good faery story more than me!
I was brought up with the tales of The Brothers Grimm, and Hans Christian Andersen, and at school, fell in love with a whole series of faery books. each one called after a colour. I well remember hatching a plot to steal The Blue Faery Story Book out of the school library by the simple expedient of shoving it up my jumper. I then feigned sickness so that the school nurse sent me home, waiting until out of sight of the headmaster’s office, before hop-skipping with unbridled joy, all the way to the sweetshop en route home, where, to this day, I can still remember spending my sixpence on a traffic light lollipop and a bag of rainbow sherbet.
Thus equipped, I arrived home looking suitably feverish, to be tucked up in bed by mum and after much fussing and a bowl of soup, I was left alone to fondle, smell and eventually read my looted Blue Faery Story Book.
An attack of conscience the next day, saw me sneaking my booty back into the school library. I’ve been kicking myself ever since. :(

[Author]

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