[fastcars]

@sword wrote:

Ah, do we have an ‘Alterior Motive’ forum, I feel Andrew will be in his element. Nice story though… have you read this one?

Scenario:
The corner shop where Andrew goes to buy his morning paper

Shopkeeper: Good morning Andrew
Andrew: Why are you calling me Andrew? You aren’t my friend!
Shopkeeper: But I have seen you every morning for 13 years, surely we can be on a first name basis?
Andrew: You aren’t winding me up you know, I have had lots of people call me by my first name! You aren’t the first to call me Andrew! I don’t care! I’m not here to make friends with you anyway!
Shopkeeper: Ok I apologise sir, how is that lovely 14 year old sister of yours?
Andrew: She isn’t 14, she’s 38! God you’re a liar, have you been drinking or what? And she isn’t my sister where do you get this crap from?
Shopkeeper: Oh I’m sorry, you just seemed close so I wrongly put 2 and 2 together.
Andrew: You’ll be saying she’s 16 next! You’re just a liar and I couldn’t care less what you think anyway! You’ll be saying every female I talk to is my sister next!
Shopkeeper: She came in yesterday and mentioned she had seen you thats all.
Andrew: Where do you make this stuff up? I don’t even know her!
Shopkeepers wife: Hello Andrew how are you?
Andrew: Yeah go on, jump on the bandwagon you alchy! Go have another drink.
Shopkeeper: Do you want your usual paper?
Andrew: How do you know I want a paper? Have you been talking about me to other people? I don’t care, you mean nothing to me, and I’m not paranoid, alright!
Shopkeeper: Andrew you aren’t having a very good morning are you?
Andrew: So what? Wanna ban me from your shop? Go on then! I’ll just come back in a new disguise, you can’t get rid of me, and I don’t care what you do anyway! Can’t you see everyone laughing at you?!?!?!
Shopkeeper: Well, errr no actually, but if it makes you a little less paranoid then yes I can, even though you are currently the only one in the shop.
Andrew: Just because your mrs can’t take rejection you take it out on me! I don’t fancy her and never did! Got it?
Shopkeeper: But she’s 54… oh never mind, ok sir.
Andrew: And stop following me around the shop you freak!!
Shopkeeper: I’m behind the counter though. What would you like to purchase?
Andrew: A paper! God you are so stupid, why else do I come here?

Andrew leaves his friendly local corner shop, red mist in eyes and thyroid glands pumped to the max.

6 hours later. Shopkeeper talking to his wife.

Shopkeeper: Andrew seemed particuarly paranoid this morning don’t you think?
Shopkeepers wife: I know dear, it seems all that bullying he was submitted to as a child has taken it’s toll, the tourettes syndrome has really kicked in.
Andrew: I’m still here you know!!!

Another day in the life of Andrew passes by, as he climbs into bed, ready at a moments notice to leg it down to the corner shop to defend his position and gather information on the shop users. Another good day and job done in Andrews world.

(Second edition)

And so the show goes on!

An amazingly accurate portrayal of one of JC’s more unstable users. =D>

[fastcars]

@pats wrote:

@colkaz wrote:

Shell i just delete all them hocky cokey things ????? was the last thing sunny wrote.
Did the Trojan wipe him out or has he reformatted and he will be me telling shortly “Fook right off you pi.ss pulling fooker and take your head for a dump!”
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

sunny is female. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ……………an shes fine btw.

Sunny is female… :?: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

[fastcars]

@anita Gofradump wrote:

Zzzzz boring old grey haired tw.at at it again :roll:

A perfect example of what I mean. Two young half naked boys as his siggy and that anger seething like a pressure cooker

[fastcars]

Anita only went in to get his king throb sorted out and came out a raving tranny with a bowel problem. No wonder he has got so much pent-up anger. People should be warned that these kind of ops are not always a success.

[fastcars]

@nero wrote:

its certainly not the bald ugly one of indeterminate gender thanks :lol: :lol:

:lol:

[fastcars]

@sharongooner wrote:

@johnboy25 wrote:

Hot Chocolate in yer hat and punch it Johnboy

I’ll do that as and when I want to – not cos someone else wants me to :lol:

Right Now – Fort Minor

:) Im watching sex change ops on the telly… .no music tonight. 8)

Seen any JC regs yet?

[fastcars]

Special

[fastcars]

Black Tie, White Noise (album)

Bowie

[fastcars]

Sometimes its difficult to tell if its Metallica you have got the hots for or Ugo.

[fastcars]

@sarah_1 wrote:

Well there you go I rest my bliddy case !!!!!!!! WHOOOOOSH
I can’t really really believe Pats & gooner commented on my last post

Humour wasted on you lot … Ffs WE KNOW Fast is a dutch man that was the whole point of my comment –

Please don’t give up the boards you’ll be eaten alive in the rooms coz there is some nasty bastads in there !!!!!

Dohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :roll: :roll: :roll:

A Dutchman… :shock: If you ask me then WE doesnt seem to know quite as much as WE thought.

[Author]

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