jen_jen

sped

dumped

instrument

We had 3 inches of snow yesterday, it stopped overnight then snowed all day today – there’s now about 7 inches on the ground and it’s currently -4c! Should freeze nicely for tomorrow morning…

Mr Jen is flying to Switzerland at some ungodly hour of the morning tomorrow so we checked out the weather forecast thinking it would be colder and…[Read more]

Dear Mr Teapot,

I do hope that you will keep this correspondence private and I will be brief (there’s a first time for everything!). Could you please let Mr Trawler believe that you’re after him for a little while longer? It won’t take much longer for me to entice him into my cabin and I have such delights planned for him.

Your assistance in…[Read more]

Something – The Beatles

(love that song)

pimped

bells

slew

I think those pork scratchings may have had traces of giraffe DNA…

Dear Mr Trawler,

What can I say, I am so embarrassed and owe you a huge apology, it seems I have made a terrible mistake.

If you recall, in my last correspondence I was about to meet husband 18 and fly off to warmer climes. Fortunately for me we had not yet married; we were to wed on an idyllic beach on his private island. Oh what a fool I have…[Read more]

Strange how the local train companies can’t run a full train service because of the weather conditions yet they can still carry out track maintenance on the line and operate a replacement bus service…

Mr Trawler.

Well what an eventful 24 hours it has been since I first replied to your appeal.

I accepted all that you said in good faith; now I realise that I should have been more circumspect in my responses but your reassurances about your communication with your friend at Interpol lulled me into a false sense of security.

Let me explain.…[Read more]

Dearest Rusty,

I am so sorry, that last letter was much longer than I anticipated. I do hope that you managed to finish reading it before your horlicks took effect.

Yours affectionately,

Jen xx

Dearest Rusty,

I do hope that’s not too forward of me but each correspondence we exchange makes me feel increasingly close to you, almost as if I had known you for years. Your words paint a picture of you that no artist could ever hope to capture on canvas and each missive adds more features to be explored.

I do admire your attention to limiting…[Read more]

@tinks wrote:

To Tracy and McVicar

Hope you both have a great day X

Pssssst…don’t forget Su…

@DANNY2011 wrote:

is this the tracy wiv no teeth who drinks nd has had countless online relationships thats failed miserably plus supports utd nd goes in f1

no

Dear Mr Trawler,

I will forego the postal order however I flatly refuse to go Dutch, their insistence on wearing clogs and waving tulips around whilst impersonating windmills is, quite frankly, rather irritating and let’s not mention the smell of cheese that wafts around them…although it does explain why they feel the need to encase their…[Read more]

P.S. “chocolate and jiggy”, I just wondered which part of the definition of jiggy you were applying

jig·gy [jig-ee]
adjective, jig·gi·er, jig·gi·est. Slang.
1.
nervous; active; excitedly energetic.
2.
wonderful and exciting, especially because stylish.

I can understand you getting nervous in my presence but can we leave the active and exci…[Read more]

@AngelBabe wrote:

My son and his girlfriend made me a nanny this morning
Congratulations to you both on the birth of you’re little boy

Tyler James
weight 7lb’s 8 oz

Congrats! :D