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im 83 was born in 1939 im a war baby my name is walter edward broadcock i didnt eat for 6 years rationing and all that well apart from the odd bit of wallpaper and cardboard my mam couldnt even breast feed me as she got her tits blown off in a bomb raid near old trafford yeh ive had a bit of a hard life so what fck it but theres no way id date linda shes half my age no will stick to my grab a granny nights ty, so fck off with your insinuations k youre about 80 anyway,why dont you come round to mine and we can share and suck a worthingoriginal sweet together whilst watching old re runs of peyton place?:
Im not raking up auld news and that,and I am very apologetic but alas im afraid to say well im not afraid fck dat,but I am the bearer of very bad sad tidings break so before Idrop this shattering bombshell on youse,I just hope you are sitting comfortably not cosy no comfortably,i wouldnt want any of you lot snuggling up to me all cosied up watching a film eating popcorn and that
just fck off in big circles,so anyway oh hang on how come i never get royalties for coining the phrase “over the road”? and dont say i didnt cos i did circa 2008 yunno with the great cull and the exodus from jc to pc so now i see ppl saying have they gone over the road to uk chat well yeh a lot of them have,i think thats fair play to them,i wont mention names (apart from 1 in a min)bu””t ya i bet inno they are seasoned chatters who know the score they just want a bit of a chinwag thats all,I personally dont go in there a lot its not really my cup of tea im not saying they are bad people but theres a lot of tin pots in there,and ppl who asked me were you in aol,i dont even know what it means? oh yeh and fck me bend me over and call me brenda so many mods its a joke chatters like me stand no chance they dont know me or understand me so i just slide in now and again drop a few sarcy lines to ppl i dont like then fck off aaahhh but ive got a cupla of mates in there so i just wanted to see if they were in and this is where i just wanted to die i was already feeling sick,not really a hangover just like yunno when you feel a bit sick so it was morning and guess who i see? yep you got it flying “extremely interesting k i
and my heart sank i actually had somebody sitting next to me and i said to her ere you go luv i bet you i can predict this clown will say evening here from nz its 13c here,and sure enough he did,so this woman said to me (id only met her the previous night outside the sally ann so i put her up cos she had nowhere to stay how did you know that feckin eejit was gonna say that? i just replied dunno brenda its just you can read fools, she said no i think you are some kind of magician and famous but just dumbing yourself cos you feel sorry for me sighs so anyway at least i got a shag out of it so cheers ki wd mate keep slagging me off ps say hi to dolly for me.
we are just good friends thats all besides shes too young for me.
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peach silk pjs you say? right thats itfront of the queue no in fact dont bother im shutting the club me and you taxi home NOW|
oh hi linda xx yeh i did have a good holiday ty,really hard work walking round the corner but hey ho
no point going in the rags trophy room i dont need a esered threadbare carpet actually i went to blackpool and fore ye scoff saying why did you go on holiday in the town where you live you dickhead? well i will tell you why look at these positives
no airport queues
no travelling
no passport
thing is the part of blackpool i reside in is about 2/3 miles from the prom i cba trekking down there unless i take archie periodically like once a month so once every 2 weeks of a year i do holiday in blackpool yep book in a hotel tourist head on,and i go to the tower,the piers,pleasure beach,sand castle,sea life centre,madame tussauds arcades etc plus it helps i have a residents card with up to 50% off and when my 2 weeks are up i just go home which is 20 mins walk so whats not to like?
youse are expecting me to blurt it out where i went on holiday well im not going to do it unless asked its not all about me me me like some in here.
how come nobody asks me where i went on holiday?
do what i do
well somer its come to my attention that you are flying to canada this week for a well earned break enjoy ,i know i enjoyed my break when i went away recently i needed it.now i dont know if tarty no tits is aware you are going even tho they know everything about you allegedly so they will have to find another victim,they might try to attack me or andy,but that will prove pretty futile like we give a fck ha,so i dont know if you will post whilst youre away i preferred not to but each to their own so have a good un mate.
