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@sunny wrote:

4 foot 10 BUT BUT but im neally 4 11 honest i am :? :?

Sounds like you need some fertilizer me luv to stand in, that’ll make ya grow, either that keep people far away from you so they couldn’t tell how tall you really are.

And anyway doesn’t the saying go — nice things come in small packages :D

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@griff wrote:

My fingerprits on my wife wouldn’t be a crime :wink:

Plus they would blow it up just to be safe……..i’d stick some sausages in her hand….the dogs would go nuts :D

Griff mate you would be better off putting some plastic explosives in there mate as the dogs are trained not to react to food :lol:

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@geordiebird wrote:

omg im a titch !!!
im 5ft and a bit
that bit makes all the difference :roll:

awwww don’t worry GB darlin, my first wife was 5ft and that was with 6 inch heals :lol: :lol:

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@griff wrote:

Well………..if I’ve ever had enough of the Mrs…I have a fool proof plan :D

Im gonna strangle her and then stick her in a big suitcase and leave her body in the case right in the middle of an airport.
The police will blow her up with a controlled explosion blowing her into little bits so they wouldn’t know I strangled her.
Then i’d tell the police she was fine when I put her in there and sue the ar$e out of them aswell as get all her life insurance :wink:

Although I think I may have just blown my cover :twisted:

Again Griff not entirely flawless my dear friend, as at airports before blowing up unattended bagage, they cordon it off for about an hour whilst they clear the area then send in the sniffer dogs. At which point they would discover there was no plastic explosives in the suitcase. Then approach it, carry out several tests and then open it. Discovering your dead wife with strangulation marks would finger print the corpse and clunk click your nicked :lol: :lol: :lol:

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@geordiebird wrote:

ohhh my fav subject :lol:
id wait till the person i wanted to murder was asleep then pop a few ice cubes down there throat so they choke to death. the ice melts so no evidence :lol:

Thats flawed – cos on the autopsy they would discover bruising in the throat which would point to a choking then on cutting them open discover water in the oesophagus, and being good detectives would put 2 and 2 together and think of ice cubes. Then on checking your freezer and finding 4 ice cubes missing from the ice cube tray point the finger at you and clunk click your nicked :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Well now there is a question,

Lets see, i won’t mention his name but i will just call him PC

I would find him ask him out for a beer and when he wasn’t looking Stick loads of super glue and stick it on his feet then quickly get us to cross the road but as we got half way across, i would pause for a chat. This would be to allow the super glue to take effect and glue him to the road. The i would jump into a steam roller convieniently parked 100 metres down the road and start rolling towards him. By the time i get there he would of Peed and sh1t himself. He might of tried to take his shoes of but i would of super glued his laces so they couldn’t be undone. Then i would slowly run over him crushing every bone and turns all of his muscles and body fat into puree.

Is that accidental enough.

Oh and PC if you are still out there – time is catching up with you :twisted:

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@Jooly wrote:

Bored squaddie, good laugh too :D

Nice, polite, lovely and funny :D

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I thought this was funny aswell
http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1133284942

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Good luck Cat sounds like everything is going well.

All the best for your opening in Jan :D

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Whats this the Joe Mangle appreciation thread or what :lol:

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