Pete

@Cass_2000 wrote:

@jen_jen wrote:

@Cass_2000 wrote:

What if the person had claimed to be single to others, and arranged to meet them but had been found out before they had chance to follow through.. would you consider that reason pete?

Oh that’s a biiiiiiig reason!

What if they claim they was never actually going to follow through with it?

They’re…[Read more]

@Cass_2000 wrote:

@Pete wrote:

But then you’re lack of trust has to be genuine not paranoia I think you have to have reason not to trust them

You mean they have to have actually gone out and had sexual encounters in some way?

Could be anything not just sex and they dont have actually had to have slept together to break someones trust

It’s possible if you can forgive i guess but only the once whatever it was cant happen twice

OK :lol:

But then you’re lack of trust has to be genuine not paranoia I think you have to have reason not to trust them

@Cass_2000 wrote:

So essentially jen and pete, you’re both saying if you don’t have trust, you don’t have much of a relationship?

dont think you have one at all cause one or the other is always wondering

yeah i guess it’s how you define flirting, i’m talking about indicating a romantic or sexual interest towards someone else

I’ve got a cold i aint moaning it’s just a cold

@Cass_2000 wrote:

Does not having trust end a relationship? what if you chose to start again, try and rebuild the trust… which is what the post is orginally about really, forgiving and forgetting.

I dont think you ever can forget or ever should really, but you have to forgive otherwise you’re sort of bearing a grudge and that’s like poisoning…[Read more]

@Cass_2000 wrote:

@Pete wrote:

So if someone was being told by their friends that their partner is a terrible flirt they’re always doing it they could just say “oh thats what they’re like it’s harmless” and not have any doubt

Well yes obv you would get doubt, but what if you believed they mean no harm by it…. Someone once said to me “I have a…

[Read more]

@(f)politics? wrote:

ok now here is where i have to disagree, flirting can in a way be quite selfless as people like to be liked and admired so flirting with someone can make that person feel good about themselves as long as it is only that it can be a way of being charming nothing more.

can make the other person feel good yeah, but if someone is…[Read more]

Then dont trust them

So if someone was being told by their friends that their partner is a terrible flirt they’re always doing it they could just say “oh thats what they’re like it’s harmless” and not have any doubt

What other part ?

I dont believe flirting is harmless thats just an excuse. I’m not saying anything major is wrong if someone flirts but why flirt if you’re getting everything you want from a relationship.
If you accept that because the other person keeps telling you “it means nothing it’s harmless” I think you’re kidding yourself and I think deep down you know…[Read more]

If you both have it if only one of you does and you know it then it cant survive, then it’s fear of being alone

You cant let them go because it’s safe it’s what you know even though you’re getting hurt at least it’s not emptiness

If you can forgive them then it just might work because forgiving isn’t as simple as letting them off the hook it empowers you to move on. It of course depends on their resulting behaviour.

But am I bovvered though