Velvet 1

prison

@PD wrote:

Cleaning up rather a lot of orange squash I just spilled all over the place!

Are you sure its squash and you weren’t trying out the prostrate thing :wink:

Lots and too many to list……. and most of them make me sad so i’ll keep them to myself.

Only thing i will say is the things we do in life make us the people we are today so I too try not to say “what if” it kind of hurts too much

cop

Lol you nutter PD….. Could you not find a real man being sorted…. woman on TV last night had pink gloves on and didnt use a battery operated appliance… and he was on all fours……. sent me to sleep smiling anyway…. cos after that they showed a peice on stra p ons….. ffs the things some folk do

ing (pmsl)

Not just smiling actually a full on chuckle at thought of PD googling Prostrate Massage

@kent f OBE wrote:

you should have nudged him and said your putting a cuddles and hugs dvd on :lol:

YOU ARE KIDDING !!!!!!! He dont need to get any ideas off a pair of nymphs that think everything is acceptable (splutters)

And PD I think a full explanation of how its done is beyond the boards sweetie… I suggest you google it with a p o r n…[Read more]

@will wrote:

fckin ell me head is BANGIN!!!!!!!!!

Then i shall play my drums real loud to entertain you :lol:

@kent f OBE wrote:

see William even us old gits can get kinky :lol: 8) :wink:

Less of the old kenty….. I can still strut my stuff with the youngsters and do a pretty good job…. ( not wishing to sound modest of course)

@kent f OBE wrote:

tsk missed it i think its important at our age to always learn new things it keeps the mind active..only so many wordsearches one can do :lol:

They showed a prostrate massage….. flippin eck get the marigolds out !!!! bloke was soooo brave but smiling Mr Velvet was snoring by the way

@kent f OBE wrote:

spock? 8)

yeah yeah thats the one…. dark hair funny ears… bliddy spelling police… i’ll twang ya thong if you do it again

@kent f OBE wrote:

Pete’s a copper? It makes sense now..i knew that thing he showed me was a truncheon :lol:

you got shown a truncheon… im gutted i got luncheon meat … or was it spam im not sure

@will wrote:

nah JC police is of duty..

in other words pete is of skivin. 8)

You know you miss him terribly

you’re like a double act….. boards would not be the same without you both….. and i like him so ner :P

@kent f OBE wrote:

of course doh@me …tommy tankers :lol:

I did actually get goosebumps last night watching “Sex – How to do everything” on fiver
Oh I say it was tres rude…. but very informative and they did show real life demos to make sure you get it right :wink:

@will wrote:

noooo more booze. i feel sick. :-…

but i can sort the splif out.. 8)

purely medicinal and for personal use….. in case plods watching :roll:

@will wrote:

goin to the shop for sum painkillars

bring me some… i need something to block out the inane chatter of the most boring man on the planet who has spent all morning telling me about his bleedin weekend ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2nd thoughts just bring booze in large quantities and a massive spliff

@kent f OBE wrote:

@PD wrote:

What I just did!

since when does having a tommy tank give a bloke goosebumps :lol:

that would depend on whether hes doing it himself of having it done for him i guess kenty :shock:

Spok

My neck being kissed….. too much info i know but hey who cares :lol: