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@susieq wrote:
@woohoo wrote:
@susieq wrote:
@woohoo wrote:
@kent f OBE wrote:
right im off home to gt ready to go do a family do…if i dont go my mum will tell me off!!!
when will the time come when we will stop being scared of our parents :roll:Norman Bates showed his mum what for, didn’t he.. :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
did you know that Psycho was based on a real life story of a very disturbed man, Ed Gein . . his house was furnished in itms made from human skin and bones . . he kept his dead mother upstairs too !
Of A Very Disturbed Man?.. You don’t say!!?.. PML.. :lol:
:lol: I think I just did you in my mind :lol:
You wouldn’t be the first! :wink: :lol:
DOES IT REMIND YOU OF SOMETHING WILL?.. :lol:
I really do have to start saving these tips..
I could send them off to Chat magazine! Hey, it’s £15 per tip! :lol:I’ve been singing and dancing in the kitchen, and someone has arrived at the back door, being able to see me through the window!! I always have to try and explain myself, incase they think i’ve totally lost it!! :lol:
@susieq wrote:
@woohoo wrote:
@kent f OBE wrote:
right im off home to gt ready to go do a family do…if i dont go my mum will tell me off!!!
when will the time come when we will stop being scared of our parents :roll:Norman Bates showed his mum what for, didn’t he.. :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
did you know that Psycho was based on a real life story of a very disturbed man, Ed Gein . . his house was furnished in itms made from human skin and bones . . he kept his dead mother upstairs too !
Of A Very Disturbed Man?.. You don’t say!!?.. PML.. :lol:
Hello Pixie..
Last time I used that sentence, i was drunk, and had smoked a spliff.. :lol:
DON’T INVITE DRUG ADDICTS round for a meal on boxing day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.
@susieq wrote:
:lol: :lol: but would you be thinking of dot cotton or pat butcher :lol: :lol:
Suzie Baby, it depends, you could always dress up as dot, but talk dirty in Pats voice, lets just go with the flow, yeah?.. :wink: :lol:
@Velvet 1 wrote:
A radio station in Australia ran a phone-in competition to find the most embarrassing moment in listener’s lives. The final four were:
4th Place
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn’t start behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, ‘If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma I saw you kissing Daddy’s Willie last night.’ After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.3rd Place
It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride down to the phone. Since we didn’t want to miss the call, we didn’t have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled ‘SURPRISE’. My entire family parents, grand parents, aunts, uncles, cousins as well as my friends, were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned any surprise parties.2nd Place
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally Got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed out across the store for everyone to hear, ‘Price check for Tampax supersize.’
But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood word ‘Tampax’ for ‘Thumbtacks’ , and replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same public address system: ‘Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you belt in with a hammer.1st Place .
And the winner is . . ..This happened at a major Australian University , during a biology lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, ‘If I understand you correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?’ The professor responded, yes, that’s correct adding some statistical data. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, ‘Then why doesn’t it taste sweet?’ After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her books, and without another word, walked out of the class. However, as she was heading for the door, the professor’s reply was a classic.
Totally straight faced, he answered her question. ‘It doesn’t taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat’.Love It.. :lol:
