-
Posts
-
My mate likes to dabble in song writing.
It is quite catchy.
This thread will surely get the usual trolls making nasty remarks.
So I am going to not bother reading any comments AT ALL!!!!!!!
I hope you all like the song!
My contribution.
Silkman, an unemployed middle aged misfit in his late 40s, habitual pot smoker and grizzled old veteran of the mean, leafy lined ghetto of West Bristol, was not long out of bed and on his way to the bookies, clad in full postman attire, including the mandatory tight black shorts. Silkman proudly wheeled out his pride and joy from his mums double garage (which also doubles as his deluxe ‘apartment’), a postbox red Royal Mail bike he thieved after he was unceremoniously sacked two years previously from Clifton delivery office, after 4 years of loyal service and after he was caught hording 671 sacks of unopened mail in his mums loft. His 11 month long stint in HMP Erlestoke had left him with a desperate, thousand yard stare, a sore arse and a gammy leg.
Silkman gritted his two remaining blackened stumps, a lit joint perched precariously between his thin bloodless lips and set off up Flat Hill, the longest and flattest hill in West Bristol. Pale hairless skinny legs peddling furiously, the tassels on his handlebars in Bristol Rovers colours flapping wildly in the warm breeze and within seconds Silkman was sweating profusely, a bit like Cosie scurrying around the alcohol aisle in Lidl on ‘giro’day.
“Good afternoon Silky” Mrs Barthbottom boomed loudly, lovingly tending to her Rhododendrons in the early afternoon sun as Milky slowly peddled past her pristine bungalow. “Good afternoon Mrs Barthbottom” Silky replied wearily, panting heavily and hunched painfully over his handlebars, like a Tour de France rider on a Pyrenees mountain climb… as Mrs Barthbottoms cackles of derision slowly faded into the distance.
Silky, his entire body by now sodden with sweat and his gaunt face furrowed in total concentration, was determined to make it up Flat Hill to the bookies without stopping.“Today is the day” he started muttering deliriously to himself, over and over again, as he grimly trundled along at a snails pace on the barely noticeable incline and as a one legged man walking his dog, carrying six bags of shopping and whistling cheerfully, jauntily overtook him.
“How goes it Flashman?” Silkman enquired breathlessly as he stumbled exhausted through the nicoteen stained door of the bookies, his pale hairless skinny legs still shaking from the exertion of climbing Flat Hill, his record of grinding to a screechy halt exactly 11 times, still intact. “Could be worse our kid” Flashman replied in a very posh but clearly fake accent, his false teeth gleaming eerily in the murky light like a freshly glossed skirting board and his mop of dyed white hair flopped precariously over his one, remaining eye, as he leerily oggled all the young’eye candy’passing outside the bookies grime encrusted window.
“Ere keep away from that one” Silky murmered to Flashman in a broad Bristol accent, as Flashmans eye lit up when he caught sight of one particular beauty. “Oi followed that one for near on 2 years asking her where she drinks and what her’real’ name is and she refused to answer me, she’s a hidey I tell you, a hidey”. “Shut up Silkman, shut up man” Flashman replied irritably, “I am going to have a nibble at ‘that’, hold my bloody cane and leave this to the expert” as he passed over a silver tipped deer antler carefully crafted by child labor in some godforsaken shithole, somewhere or other and Silkman watched in utter astonishment, mouth agog, as Flashman confidently slid out the door, quick as a flash like a randy eel and pursued the now rapidly fleeing beauty who had caught a brief glimpse of his beady bloodshot eye following her movement through the grimy window…
1 member liked this post.
The song !!!! 😆😂 LOVE IT !!! 👍👍👍😆😂😉
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
mooosey88.
1 member liked this post.
writing
That was quite funny actually lol
1 member liked this post.
Dangermouse did ask for creativity not a bunch of drunken dog shite.
Ge if you think im a postman thats fine.
Rather be thought of as modest than say a oxford scholar cum scar faced irish builder cum butlins red coat cum refugee camp worker.
Why you feel the need to make these crazy boasts i dunno.
Are you and badder still running the gender neutral society in f2?
Try explaining to gerry that boys who wear skirts in some areas may get picked on.
He will flip out.
Anyway theres the facts heres the creativity.
Recently saw in a job center in a rough muslim area full of graffiti like he lives, his words not mine, and hes mocking bristol??
Wanted for a job as a butlins red coat
Ex scar faced builder with a oxford background to work as the welcoming face of butlins.
Most have a friendly affable manner criminal backgrounds will be checked.
If you perform successfully this may lead to work in camps abroad.
No pets in challets this includes imaginary 1s.
Realised I was singing to myself at work ,
” titty titty tittyyyyy, ooooooooo….. saggy tittiessss……”
Few odd looks, must be more careful…….
1 member liked this post.
My mate likes to dabble in song writing.
It is quite catchy.
This thread will surely get the usual trolls making nasty remarks.
So I am going to not bother reading any comments AT ALL!!!!!!!
I hope you all like the song!
I would like to say I don’t like the song
but I can’t.
And it is unfortunately catchy.
A talent wasted on JC.
Perhaps it could grace the opening and closing of the Queen’s Christmas Message?
1 member liked this post.
I was trawling in the arts page for the Eliot writing. I know it’s in your poetry forum as well.
I hate the nastiness on here between you and nem, especially when i get mentioned, but there’s nothing I can do to sop it. I just have to put up with it.
The reason I say this, rather than just keep my big gob shut (and perhaps I should have done just that), is that when trawling I came across the poems nem wrote, as well as the poems you wrote, and they are good. The nastiness between you both is killing what could have been a good development here.
I also came across one of my posts to you, which fits here as much as it did in the OP.
I really don’t know you (any of you).
You seem to have a very sharp mind, and a sharp tongue which can sting.
You’ve helped me a lot with your poetry, and your attitudes to poetry, so this advice is purely well-meant.
I have no idea whether you are the cause of the anger with some of these people, or whether you’re merely responding to their cruelty…really no idea…and in the end, it’s not interesting who is the ultimate cause.
I do know that once you answer them with cruelty, and provoke them to greater cruelty, then a descent into hell takes place. It’s you as well as they who descend.
In Dante’s Inferno, one of the terrifying images is of a man locked in a cell, while another is behind him holding his shoulders and eating his brains. The horror in the victim’s eyes is matched by the Satanic glee of the assailant. A truly terrifying picture of what can happen to us.
I’m firmly of the belief that Hell exists here, among us, and not in any mythical place below.
So, please, don’t become the assailant or the victim. Don’t respond to provocations, certainly not with personal cruelty.
There are better, much better ways, of dealing with these boards, and with the people on them, than by making yourself (and them) inhuman and in the end miserable.
You have your poetry. Think about it. It’s up to you in the end, but even if you attack – eventually – think again about what I said xx.
Firstly in regards to the Mexican, her comments are always consistent. i.e more digs and more crap probably, only ever one objective, to ignore everything said and just go for my ‘jugular’ which she could never find since she cannot even find her spanner although i have told her several times its in the dish washer.
All I will say is that it was personal between me and the person you speak of. Not about some bloke although he enjoys making it out it was and I am supposed to automatically hate any woman who speaks to him. I have never been nasty to F53 ever as I like her and she is one of his ‘women’. I was also ok to Bloss too, shared me soup recipe with her and next minute she was on the boards calling me a chav etc. He speaks to lynne, I like her too, I really do not care about who his ‘women’ are.
But I am done with all this. I leave soon to get on a plane. ‘Real’ life is out there waiting for us.
Everyone gets stick in JC.
I am done with retaliating to nems trolling n the rooms and we all know she does it bla bla bla, I am done with defending myself.
So I am calling a truce. Nems I wish you well with your life.
Bloss I wish you well too. Tracy – I am not fussed you called me a ‘suicidal mess’ etc I hope you well too as I am basically a really kind hearted person.
No point me going in jc chatrooms anymore, I want to be myself and I cant because like you lot I am sick to death of seeing those fcking terrible pictures that dont even represent what i really look like.
He wanted to humiliate me and he did, he wanted my forgiveness and I couldnt give it to him. He was never really honest with me, I do not hate the women in his ‘harem’ I just hope that they will all be ok when they say ‘no’ to him.
Since its my thread, here is a poem
Just sometimes
Some things are said in anger
Some things are said in truth
Some people lie and lie and lie
Even when you have the proof
Some say that you are useless
Some say that you are weak
Some say so many things
You wish they would not speak
Some say that you are crazy
Some wish you would break down
Those people also miss you
When you are not around
So now what is the answer?
If you really are no good?
Why do they keep coming back?
I have never understood.
They can strip you of your beauty
They can strip you of your smile
They can tell you that you’re worthless
And should just be on the scrap pile
But after you have cried those tears
You remember all words spoken
Remember that you may feel pain
But they might too be broken.
And you might underestimate them, hurt them, then hate them because for once you got it all totally wrong.
I have to go now. I am off to Ibiza!
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by Dangermousey.
Have a nice holiday in Ibiza.
Good that you called a truce.
First rule of JC…..milky don’t like G.E….LOL…..
Second rule of JC….there’s aa war going on
Third rule of JC…….i’m glad it ain’t my war……PML LMAO RATF
-
This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
Get involved in this discussion! Log in or register now to have your say!