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ANNOUNCEMENT !!! Without any further ado, it gives me great pleasure to announce that Divine’s Jazz Club’s security team are now in full force. Tainted Halo Kev has been employed on a long term contract as Chief Security officer and head doorman. He has a long and illustrious history of all matters relating to internal security and his signing up to the staff has been an exciting moment for us all. Well done Kev on your new position and I and all the other staff look forward to working together with you. Furthermore, as Kev’s assistant, I’m delighted to be able to announce that we have the Legendary Milko as extra door and internal security. Milko who is also known as the Bristol Bumpkin, has, like Kev, a long and illustrious career in internal security, and was personally headhunted from Bristol for this new high profile position. Welcome aboard the team Milko. I have great faith that these two gentlemen leading the security team will ensure the safety and well being of all clientele and guests in the coming future, and will comfortably provide assurances in all their endeavours.
You do realise Kevs idea of head of security is to see how many padlocks are on ladies knickers
“………………………….runs fast………….
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Can we lower the hemline slightly on the skirts
Sophia will be clarifying her dress code soon. Which position are you applying for?
I’ll let Sophia choose a position for me….I trust her
Are you implying that you don’t trust me ? :)
You do realise Kevs idea of head of security is to see how many padlocks are on ladies knickers
How many padlocks are on yours?
*Looks for some old keys that might just fit the padlocks :)
You do realise Kevs idea of head of security is to see how many padlocks are on ladies knickers
How many padlocks are on yours?
erhum……………swiftly moving on…..
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That’s a shame. I have just found a key that fits your padlock
I wonder if Cosy is looking for a job,. I need a potman and ashtray emptier
That’s a shame. I have just found a key that fits your padlock
I knew trusting Sophia was a better idea
btw are you Alfie?
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Please may I respectfully apply for the position of ‘official cocktail taster’ ( no wages required ). As a shiney new venture, it would be dreadful should a paying customer be dissatisfied with the quality of the cocktails and I’ve heard it , on good authority, that Laine has been suffering from a mild form of dementia ( I made that bit up ) and its now 13 years since she took her cocktail course, and she may be more than a little rusty. It would be Tragic for this new, high quality establishment to attract any bad publicity, other than the door mans obviously fake Farah Clarkes .I therefore, selflessly, and with no hidden agenda, offer myself as human guinea pig to avoid such a disastrous an event.
I await your decision with great anticipation and an empty glass.
Yours Most faithfully
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Wow, Moosey baby x
I’m totally flattered and honoured that you would so respectfully make such an application.
The job is all yours on two conditions, and they are, firstly, should you find yourself the worse for wear after all that cocktail sampling and the loud live music and dancing, that you promise me wholeheartedly and faithfully that you will allow my personal chauffeur of John Lennon’s white 1965 Rolls Royce Phantom V which was recently purchased at auction, and has been recently fully reconditioned to safely escort you to the company Penthouse suite at the Dorchester Hotel in Park Lane Mayfair so as you can rest your weary head, legs and feet.
Furthermore, you must also promise me that you will frequent the VIP area on saturday nights when we have regular guests including George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Jude Law, Denzel Washington, David Beckham, Sean Connery, and a long list of A list celebrities.
Finally, in line with the company policy and high profile, would it be pushing it to include a further condition, that you regularly utilise the Health and Beauty spa in the Dorchester, and always attend Divine’s wearing beautiful nail varnish colours of my persoanl choice ?
Please say yes,….. pretty please,…. pretty pretty please
Do we have a deal ?
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