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I suspect that the limiting factor here may not the the power output of your sound card but in fact is the tiny (and tinny) laptop speakers – assuming that you are using these to listen to.

If you are using externally powered stand alone computer speakers, then they ought to take a line feed from the laptop sound card and they have their own…[Read more]

Oh God … this is where I get myself into all sorts of trouble.

The fact is that everybody has their own likes & dislikes when it comes to ISP’s. I for example utterly dislike AOL principally because they insist on not just providing you with an internet connection, but an entire websurfing experience and to do this they download loads of their…[Read more]

We can hardly wait.

I’ll bet UGO is farting with excitement. Maybe that’s why he is soooo noticeable by his absence.

Good old Freeserve / Orange eh??

This isn’t the first time that I’ve heard of this and I am quietly confident that it is nothing to do with your computer or the way it connects to the Internet. It is most probably due to your ISP instituting a form of ‘bandwidth rationing’ to their users. This is usually because they only have a finite and…[Read more]

….. yeah – then we woke up !!!

By popular demand … here is another little song for our very dear friend UGO.

Yes, my heart stood still
Yes, I gave him a…[Read more]

I assume that you have Broadband installed (and not the old fashioned 56K dial up modem).

Secondly, what Operating System is installed on your computer? (i.e. Windows XP, 2000, NT, 98X – or, God help you, Vista – etc etc)

The JustChat UGO Song – verse 2.

Beneath the trees where nobody sees,
They’ll suck and fuck as long as they please
‘Cos today’s the day that UGO’s getting his prick licked.

@sunny wrote:

And in english this mean ????????? 8-[

The world is ending aint it :?

It means that Firefox/Mozilla isn’t any more immune to attacks than any other browser …. simply that because relatively few computer users worldwide use it, it makes a smaller target to aim at and the geeks can’t be bothered. One has now.

Apparently this…[Read more]

The JustChat UGO song.

If you go round to UGO’s today,
Your sure of a big surprise.
If you go round to UGO’s today,
You’d better go in disguise.
For every drag queen that ever there was
Is going to UGO’s to see him because,
Today’s the day that UGO get’s his prick licked.

I’ll bet UGO hopes that he rubs up well too.

Of course we don’t (yet) know what Derek looks like ….. but given UGO’s predilictions for Combat 17 1/2 types (or should that be Wombat ???) ….. maybe Derek is a leather boy .

@sharongooner wrote:

What time is Derek due?

Awwww come on Sharon …. Derek has got to have time to look his best for our UGO.

Absolutely right DOA. We used to buy them in (in multiples of 250 at a time) for the princely sum of Euro 5.60 (or roughly £3.50) each so that they could be bundled with a PC and sold as a package deal.

Lexmark made their money not on the sale of the printer, but on the sale of the ink cartridges to the dumbo user – which used to cost a small…[Read more]

@sharongooner wrote:

You could swap it for your jackpot one armed bandit!!

(Is that ^^ gonna be censored cos its dissing able bodied bandits?)

No Sharon … it’s OK to ‘diss’ able bodied bandits, as long as you don’t call them ‘bum bandits’ …. ‘cos that would be ‘dissing’ poofters.

Is this the ”real” UGO fastcars???

I hope Derek likes baldies – he sure will find out this weekend eh?

@emmalush wrote:

Labour’s far left thugs have asked Martin “politely” to do this shaza, but dont worry, because theres loads of forums to chat in.

Ive noticed this website loosing its bounce, maybe they dont mind, maybe they do.

Well maybe Emma you’ll wander off into the twilight to all these other Forums and take your politically inspired and…[Read more]

So …. to go back to the original story folks and perhaps put a slightly different spin on the way it was presented……:

@ugo wrote:

A close friend of mine had to have her Mother placed in a Nursing Home …….”

She didn’t HAVE to abandon her mother to the tender care of a Nursing Home … she made the choice to do so.

One option was for…

[Read more]

They used to be given away free with older Windows 98 based computers. If you can still get cartridges for them (which I doubt) they are seriously expensive to run.

You might get 50 pence for it from somebody – but don’t hold your breath waiting. If it doesn’t sell ….. dump it in the bin (or set fire to it and post the pictures on YouTube).

Oh and here is UGO’s halfwit mate just before he gets on the ferry ……. to Bremen.

BALDY …BALDY … BALDY …ner ner ne ner ner !!!