Dear Mr Trawler,
I fear some sabotage, that photograph is most definitely not of me. I am blonde with ample assets, not brunette with nothing worth mentioning, and I wouldn’t be seen dead in an orange cardigan on a yellow beadspread.
Are you sure that Ms Su “Praying Mantis” Simply is as trustworthy as you think? I’m sure that a man of your stature would have carried out checks into her background and not been swayed by the uniform. If not, might I suggest you appoint a bodyguard and food taster as quickly as possibly and DO NOT, under any circumstances, allow her to lure you behind the bookcases with breathless exclamations of having found something exotically beautiful that she wants to share with you and you only.
Please be careful my dear friend.
J xx