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IM quite looking forward to tonight,ive rounded up some new recruits,what it was i was doing my usual friday night stint(stand up comedian)beenh doing it for years its easy really,few gags,bit of karaoke and i just get pissed with the audience nobody wants a miserable barstard on stage do they?its not like we are on telly,just a big hotel,so there were a crowd of geordies in and the inevitable jocks,and there i spot her,denise fckn welsh get in result,shes at it “i look nothing like her pet,man,man,pet”i said “youll do”scours round our caledonian friends thinking theres got to be somebody?best i came up with was do you remember jim mcdonald from cozzer?its the spit of him i tell you,so they are coming tonight they are bound to spend 20 quid each arent they?
i dont actually have to pay for my beer but im still going to party like its £19.99.)
oh yeh sorry mate.
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hi soms, nice hol,right thats the niceties over wtf you mean youd go as axl rose you bald tw@t i mean if you went in next sunday
oh bonus question women only axl rose is an anagram of what?
winner gets to share a cheap sleazy hotel in blackpool with me.
hmm 15 quid er might have a peep but then again its kenty innit might save me money buy a quarter of weed instead,its not that im against tits or braless women its just that i dont see the point in tits just like fat lumps hanging off your body fckn useless really they get in the way what you want what you really really want the magic beaver once wrote a song about fannys with my band,god bless the beaver when im in there im happy and contented cheers god best thing you ever invented no it didnt get in the charts,i got a link tho if you wanna hear it yeh so tits ah cba with them altho i do have a chuckle when i see a wom,owt elsean running for a bus tits wobbling all over the place and she misses it then i see her muttering you bastard,and i pop up and wind her up saying a bit of bad luck you had there innit luv,ever tried losing some weight you fat fck? erm what else? oh yeh does anybody remember a band called sparks? they got a album called indiscreet or is it propaganda? anyway they got a a song called tits,im not a crude rude lewd manbut its a really great song about how breasts can wreck a marriage,,id send you the link but im too fick,anyway its on you tube and its called tits cant think of anyting else so say so im fcking off.anybody want to put it on go for it.bye xx
happened to me in the quiz answered the question then please dont report the same message well i cant say a wrong answer next time i looked ari 3 points etc
its bollox it boils my piss like scousers do no wonder i end up arguing with everybody and get banned,
i tell you what shes a really good boardie linda int she,shit at quizzes but hey you cant have it all,its come to my attention that she gets the same as me
as in
please dont repost the same message twice wtf is that all about?does anybody else get that? like im a parrot or summat it needs sorting out.
not just you linda sorry everybody.
nah i just made it up for a laugh linda trying to pretend im big and that im fck all really,just trying to cheer myself up,feel pretty down today, may i ask youse a question might be 2 or 3 tho
1,do you ever feel agrophobic?
2.claustrophobic?
3,anti social?
4,sociopath?
5,CBA with anybody as in fck off get out my face
6,which is a bit like 5 but even tho they havent done fck all wrong (its your fault not theirs you moody tw@t)7
arite soms mate im not trying to trash yer thread i dont do shites like that,in facti like this thread as you know im a well travelled man merchant navy and all that palaver in fact again,can we mention names in this gaff? no ok fine no names then fair enough i wont but belle/lupe told me she knows vicki hernandez is she winding me up try and boil my piss and that?
what else er dunno cba well can be arsed but not right now i might be back in a bit but there again i might not who gives a fck
mmmm id love to rip that corset off you xx
