toybulldog

Great isn’t it.

At a time when clear and decisive leadership is needed more than ever, and not soppy watered-down policies, we Brits face the likelihood of the country being run by committee, hamstrung by compromise and based on hidden machinations in back rooms by the power-hungry.

The real lack of decision rests with the general populace of…[Read more]

Thank you.

Also, save time when crossing one-way streets by only looking in the direction of incoming traffic.

Always carry a pound of lard in your pocket.

If you ever get your head caught in some railings you can then grease your ears and slide out.

.

The last time I tried a McDonalds drive-through I ordered a Tropicana Orange Juice to go with my meal. When the young foreign girl served it I asked if I had paid for the drink. She said that I had at the previous window.

‘Oh’, I replied,
‘I thought Club Tropicana Drinks Are Free ‘

and leaving her looking rather confused, drove off,
muttering at…[Read more]

@GAZLAN wrote:

Nah ….maybe not.]

You’re an egocentric spammer with flatulent tendencies, and no regard for a differing viewpoint, which in itself defeats the object of message board activity.

When challenged, your defensive ‘puns’ are extremely infantile and a complete waste of attention.
Putting people off from posting won’t look that good on…[Read more]

blimey NCB just read this

take care of you hun
xx

Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply
changing your name to match your existing plate.

rgds
KVL 832Y, Lincoln.

Tired of your goldfish having needless sex ?

This can be easily stopped by throwing a bucket of cold air over them.

You need a cheap but effective baby rattle ?

Then glue a lollipop stick to an empty matchbox, and fill it with ten woodlice.

Iggy Pop,
Bristol Locarno Feb 1979

Never fly into a rage and kill that messenger who brought you bad news.

Good messengers are hard to come by.

To avoid dust collecting on sandwich containers or other small kitchen items, simply cover them with shower caps.

‘Oxygen thieves’ take my breath away,
but ‘skin wastes’ just make my flesh creep.

My favourite childhood, Kenty ? That’s a very short list………

But seriously.

I loved to line up my collection of severed barbie doll heads, and then rant dialectical Leninism at them while me mum weren’t looking. The masses need education and those vacantly staring plastic beauties weren’t getting away with their incessant chat about…[Read more]

@Rosepetal wrote:

I thought of two other blokes I could ask but one has a pacemaker and the other had emptied my loft recently so felt I couldnt impose on them.

yeah ain’t life tough

:D

Happy Birthday Rose xx

@Yvonne wrote:

great movie pete

yeah Cagney was brave in taking on that role

no offence, but you need to get out more.

I was scared sh/it/less my first night on JC.

Fan/ny Craddock lusted over my baps, and who wouldn’t . . . . . . . Netty took the fookin p1ss and I was on iggy before I even knew what that meant.

I love them now but that ain’t the fookin point.
Get out now while you’re still posting sanctimonious crap.

x

I fancy scrambled eggs with a dash of pepper and sun-dried tomatoes with Parma cheese, served by well-bosomed Phoenician wenches with flagons of apricot flavoured wine.

But will make do with the tailback on the A65.
Add nutmeg if you truly wish to get your freak on.

But, predominantly, I would like to keep this whole breathing in/ breathing out…[Read more]